Sabiha and Shiraaz stayed with me the whole night. The doctor monitored her fever and put her on a drip throughout the night. I was relieved that by morning her fever had gone down tremendously and we could take her home. I didn’t want to stay in the hospital and put her at a risk of catching an infection. Her doctor said she was okay to take home. When we got home I sent Sabiha and Shiraaz home, they needed to also check on their kids.

Saibah was asleep, I tried calling Ahmed again but he didn’t answer, so I took a nap before Saibah woke up. I woke up to my phone ringing, it was Ahmed, he saw all the calls from myself and Shiraaz and decided to call. I told him what happened, he didn’t say where he was or if he was coming home, he just cut the call. I took a quick shower,  got ready, fed Saibah, she looked much better.

She was playing instead of the continous crying. Sabiha brought me breakfast, she knew that I probably didn’t want to leave Saibah. She sat with me for a little while, she didn’t ask what happened to Ahmed,  she just gave me company and assured me that everything would be okay. Sabiha made Saibah sleep and then instructed me to sleep, she said she would wake me up if anything happens but I couldn’t leave my baby and sleep.

Uncle Abdullah and his whole family came over including Sakina. Sabiha told them that I didn’t sleep whole night so they made sure I slept in the guest room and got a few hours of sleep. I couldn’t fight so many of them so I slept and woke up to a happy baby and a lovely lunch. Ahmed was still not here, I realised he was not coming. The rest of the afternoon went into entertaining visitors, lucky for the help I had.

Ahmed finally came home, he had really left us and went to his parent’s. I didn’t want to create a scene although I didn’t want him near my baby. I had a house full of people and they didn’t need to know my business. After everyone left, I took Saibah upstairs and locked the door. I wasn’t going to award him any brownie points. He deserted his family and went miles away, his daughter got so sick she was hospitalised and he did not answer his phone.

I was angry and I had every right to be, I kept my baby away from him and I had that right too. He had to prove to us that he cared and I wasn’t going to let him off that easy. He gave me a tough time when it wasn’t my fault and I was going to give him an even tougher time because it was his fault that I sat without him at the hospital. He didn’t trouble me, he knew I was angry at him and that Saibah was asleep.

I woke up this morning, took a shower and got dressed, I got Saibah dressed. I decided that I was not going to mope around and be alone for eid. I was going to spend my time with my family whether Ahmed was coming or not. I went downstairs had breakfast, Ahmed fell asleep on the couch, I woke him up gave him breakfast and told him what I planned to do. I took Saibah and went to get my bag and cellphone from my room.

When I got downstairs Ahmed was waiting at the door, I walked down the staircase and he took Saibah from me and handed her to Nomsa. He grabbed my hand and took me into the nursery downstairs. He closed the door and then asked me to have a seat. I was annoyed at him already and this was not making it any easier on me, I just wanted to leave and get away from him.

Ahmed wanted to come with to my parent’s, he said that he was sorry for not being around when Saibah got sick, for leaving us behind and going to his family, for taking off with me over something Asad told him. I asked him to see for himself how many things he had done wrong, does he really deserves another chance, especially after all the chances he had in the past. This time was different, our child is involved and I wont allow any harm to come her way.

I walked out of the room and was about to leave the house when Ahmed locked the door, he refused to get out of the way until I agreed to forgive him. He didn’t understand, it was not about forgiving him, it’s about the way he reacted which lead him to do things that he regrets. We were lucky that Saibah didn’t get very sick otherwise he would of regretted even more.

I obviously didn’t want to drag this fight before and no matter how mad I am now I don’t want to drag it on so I accepted his apology and went with the flow although I did let him know that he was not off the hook. I wasn’t letting him off that easily, not after the week I had. The car was already packed with our bags so we hopped in and were on our way to celebrate eid with our family.

We get to my parent’s, I’m exhausted and Saibah has a slight fever again, she is crabby and crying non stop. She refuses to go to Ahmed or anyone else, she only wants me, I taunt him about it telling him that it is because he was not there when she got sick the first time. Faheema and her family will be here just before dinner. Humeira and my mum are busy making salads, my uncle is having a braai tonight.

I woke up to my alarm blaring, Saibah and Ahmed were still asleep but both woke up with the alarm. I left Saibah playing in her cot and took a quick shower and got dressed, Nomsa came up to give Saibah a bath while I went down to help with breakfast. After breakfast Humeira and I got together and baked a whole lot of delicious biscuits and cakes for eid.

We have a cook that will be preparing lunch for the family. Breakfast my mum likes us to do at home,  she says it brings the family together so Faheema is busy marinating the chickens and cooking the chops and kebaab chutney. Tonight everyone will be meeting up for dinner again but this time by us, the ladies get to put mendhi while the men sit around talking about their fishing and camping trips.

We need to prepare for that as well, my mum is cooking the leg roast and veggies, my aunt is making pasta and steak and the cousins are making desserts. We always take full advantage of the times we get to spend together. Every moment is special to us. I’m still not speaking to Ahmed, I have been either ignoring him or staying away. He has been trying I have to give him credit for that but it’s not enough.

By lunch we were done with baking and cooking, Ziyaad got us take outs for lunch which came as a blessing for us ladies. We relaxed a little after lunch and got back to work, setting the tables and chairs and then we layed a separate table for desserts and tea. Just before maghrib everyone starts arriving, we serve dinner after maghrib, everyone in their clicks having good laughs. I see Yaseen sitting with everyone but yet he seems so lost.

This eid is going to be a difficult one for us, especially for Yaseen. He probably planned to spend it with Raeesa and that’s now just a past dream. He hasn’t yet moved on, it’s not that easy it will take a while until he forgets her and forgets all the memories that they made together. We just have to be there for him until the divorce goes through and even after to help him move on obviously at his own pace.


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