PART HUNDRED AND SIXTY ONE

PART HUNDRED AND SIXTY ONE

Eid day is finally here, everyone is excited, I didn’t want to spend eid upset with Ahmed so we patched things up last night. After eid namaaz everyone went to the farm for slaughtering then we got back home and all my dad’s family came over. The ladies got together and made breakfast ready while the men sat around discussing how things went at the farm, the rugby and they also got to know a bit about what each one has been up to since our last get together.

They say eid day is more like eat day and it seriously is for our family. We have our three main meals in the day and snacks in between but on eid you find yourself nibbling on all the goodies like mithais (sweetmeats), fruit, chocolates, sweets, chevra (Indian crunchy snack) and there’s always alot of desserts and baking. You definetely need to go on a detox and a diet after all that eating.

After breakfast Ahmed called me up to the room, he apologised once again and wished me for eid, he was feeling guilty and I could see it. Throughout the day he paid alot of attention to Saibah which was great. He was suppose to leave this evening to his parents but decided to stay with us. The original plan was that we all would go but after his little dramatic act I decided that he should go alone.

This morning Ahmed suggested we stay with my parents for the Friday and Saturday and leave to his parent’s on Sunday. I didn’t want to go, he went there alone and showed them that we were fighting so it would be so awkward to face them and knowing my mother-in-law, she would leave no chance to taunt at me. I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t want Ahmed to feel bad if I didn’t go or deprive him from spending time with his family.

The whole day my mind has been on whether I should stay behind or go with Ahmed. I couldn’t come to a conclusion, after dinner I don’t know why or how but I told Ahmed we would leave tomorrow after breakfast to his family. I informed my parent’s who were not too happy but they understood that we needed to be fair to both sides. Ahmed was very happy that Saibah and I were going with.

I jump out of bed as my alarm rings for the 3rd time, I quickly take a shower and I nudge Ahmed so he could wake up and get ready. I went downstairs to get started on breakfast, Humeira was already busy in the kitchen. We had breakfast together and then sat for a little while before we could leave. We didn’t discuss yet where we will be staying.

Since we married we have never stayed with his parents. I feel he should stay with his parent’s and I will stay at his grandparent’s. I know that my mother-in-law will not want me to stay in her house and I don’t want to be an inconvenience for them or make them feel uncomfortable in their own home. Ahmed refuses to stay in separate homes so he suggested speaking to his parent’s first and if they don’t agree we will stay with his grandparents.

After three and half long hours we finally get to his hometown. He decided to first go to his grandparent’s and then he would go see his parent’s and speak to them. We got settled and had a late lunch, after lunch Ahmed went to see his parent’s, I don’t even visit their home, my mother-in-law made it clear that I was not to go anywhere near her house. I never held it against her, it’s her way of having her own space.

I guess she feels I will try to take what is hers since I did marry her son and that for her is equivalent to taking her son away from her. I sat with his grandparent’s waiting to hear what his parent’s had to say. He phoned and told me to get ready he was coming to fetch Saibah and I. When he got here he looked calm and had a huge smile on his face. I assumed all had gone well at his parents.

I got into the car and we drove off, after a few minutes I looked up and realised that we were not heading in the direction to his parent’s but rather leaving town to go back home. I asked him about it but he laughed and said we should forget these people. He told me not to ask him about it again, I did as he instructed but just until we reached home, had supper and we were relaxed, I waited for the right moment.

“So what happened at your parent’s? I know you said you don’t want to talk about it but I should know, I don’t want problems later on.”

“Well I spoke to them and I asked if you and Saibah could come stay in their house and my mother freaked. She said some nasty things and I got angry so I told her that I cut all ties with them and they will be hearing from my lawyer.”

“What? Are you crazy? They are your parent’s no matter what they say you should not be rude to them. I can’t believe that you have done such a thing.”

I picked up Saibah and walked out of the room, I was not going to argue with someone who didn’t want to listen to me. I sat upstairs watching tv until Ahmed came to the room. He didn’t say anything to me, he took his clothes and changed into a shorts and a t-shirt, he played with Saibah for a while and then sat on the bed, took the remote from my hand and changed the channel, after few minutes he turned off the tv.

He turned to me and looked at me with a huge grin on his face. I got off the bed and went to get Saibah from her cot, I put her on the carpet and played with her. Ahmed was still on the bed he cleared his throat trying to get my attention. I looked up at him and told him to stop trying I was not forgiving him so easily and what he did was wrong. He argued a little to prove his point but I didn’t give him head and continued playing with Saibah. 

“Don’t you think it’s better we came home? Atleast we get to spend some time together,” he asked nonchalantly.

“No because you left for the wrong reasons.”

“Babes you don’t want to know what was said about you and I couldn’t just listen to my family bad mouth you.”

“Ahmed you know this is always going to be an issue, you shouldn’t have even tried to get us to stay in one house. You should of just kept quiet and stayed with them. Last week you never cared how much you hurt me but you can’t take a few bad things your family said.”

“Are we going back to that argument?”

“No I’m just trying to prove a point.”

“Okay point taken but I already made up my mind and we never going to be near my family ever again.”

I kept quiet, he usually says that and then few months later he starts missing them and tries to fix his mess. I know this circle all too well. I made Saibah sleep and then hopped into bed, Ahmed turned to face me, he had his serious face on and apologised. He kissed me on my forehead, turned around and switched off the lights. I took a while to fall asleep but Ahmed was snoring within minutes.

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PART HUNDRED AND SIXTY

PART HUNDRED AND SIXTY

Sabiha and Shiraaz stayed with me the whole night. The doctor monitored her fever and put her on a drip throughout the night. I was relieved that by morning her fever had gone down tremendously and we could take her home. I didn’t want to stay in the hospital and put her at a risk of catching an infection. Her doctor said she was okay to take home. When we got home I sent Sabiha and Shiraaz home, they needed to also check on their kids.

Saibah was asleep, I tried calling Ahmed again but he didn’t answer, so I took a nap before Saibah woke up. I woke up to my phone ringing, it was Ahmed, he saw all the calls from myself and Shiraaz and decided to call. I told him what happened, he didn’t say where he was or if he was coming home, he just cut the call. I took a quick shower,  got ready, fed Saibah, she looked much better.

She was playing instead of the continous crying. Sabiha brought me breakfast, she knew that I probably didn’t want to leave Saibah. She sat with me for a little while, she didn’t ask what happened to Ahmed,  she just gave me company and assured me that everything would be okay. Sabiha made Saibah sleep and then instructed me to sleep, she said she would wake me up if anything happens but I couldn’t leave my baby and sleep.

Uncle Abdullah and his whole family came over including Sakina. Sabiha told them that I didn’t sleep whole night so they made sure I slept in the guest room and got a few hours of sleep. I couldn’t fight so many of them so I slept and woke up to a happy baby and a lovely lunch. Ahmed was still not here, I realised he was not coming. The rest of the afternoon went into entertaining visitors, lucky for the help I had.

Ahmed finally came home, he had really left us and went to his parent’s. I didn’t want to create a scene although I didn’t want him near my baby. I had a house full of people and they didn’t need to know my business. After everyone left, I took Saibah upstairs and locked the door. I wasn’t going to award him any brownie points. He deserted his family and went miles away, his daughter got so sick she was hospitalised and he did not answer his phone.

I was angry and I had every right to be, I kept my baby away from him and I had that right too. He had to prove to us that he cared and I wasn’t going to let him off that easy. He gave me a tough time when it wasn’t my fault and I was going to give him an even tougher time because it was his fault that I sat without him at the hospital. He didn’t trouble me, he knew I was angry at him and that Saibah was asleep.

I woke up this morning, took a shower and got dressed, I got Saibah dressed. I decided that I was not going to mope around and be alone for eid. I was going to spend my time with my family whether Ahmed was coming or not. I went downstairs had breakfast, Ahmed fell asleep on the couch, I woke him up gave him breakfast and told him what I planned to do. I took Saibah and went to get my bag and cellphone from my room.

When I got downstairs Ahmed was waiting at the door, I walked down the staircase and he took Saibah from me and handed her to Nomsa. He grabbed my hand and took me into the nursery downstairs. He closed the door and then asked me to have a seat. I was annoyed at him already and this was not making it any easier on me, I just wanted to leave and get away from him.

Ahmed wanted to come with to my parent’s, he said that he was sorry for not being around when Saibah got sick, for leaving us behind and going to his family, for taking off with me over something Asad told him. I asked him to see for himself how many things he had done wrong, does he really deserves another chance, especially after all the chances he had in the past. This time was different, our child is involved and I wont allow any harm to come her way.

I walked out of the room and was about to leave the house when Ahmed locked the door, he refused to get out of the way until I agreed to forgive him. He didn’t understand, it was not about forgiving him, it’s about the way he reacted which lead him to do things that he regrets. We were lucky that Saibah didn’t get very sick otherwise he would of regretted even more.

I obviously didn’t want to drag this fight before and no matter how mad I am now I don’t want to drag it on so I accepted his apology and went with the flow although I did let him know that he was not off the hook. I wasn’t letting him off that easily, not after the week I had. The car was already packed with our bags so we hopped in and were on our way to celebrate eid with our family.

We get to my parent’s, I’m exhausted and Saibah has a slight fever again, she is crabby and crying non stop. She refuses to go to Ahmed or anyone else, she only wants me, I taunt him about it telling him that it is because he was not there when she got sick the first time. Faheema and her family will be here just before dinner. Humeira and my mum are busy making salads, my uncle is having a braai tonight.

I woke up to my alarm blaring, Saibah and Ahmed were still asleep but both woke up with the alarm. I left Saibah playing in her cot and took a quick shower and got dressed, Nomsa came up to give Saibah a bath while I went down to help with breakfast. After breakfast Humeira and I got together and baked a whole lot of delicious biscuits and cakes for eid.

We have a cook that will be preparing lunch for the family. Breakfast my mum likes us to do at home,  she says it brings the family together so Faheema is busy marinating the chickens and cooking the chops and kebaab chutney. Tonight everyone will be meeting up for dinner again but this time by us, the ladies get to put mendhi while the men sit around talking about their fishing and camping trips.

We need to prepare for that as well, my mum is cooking the leg roast and veggies, my aunt is making pasta and steak and the cousins are making desserts. We always take full advantage of the times we get to spend together. Every moment is special to us. I’m still not speaking to Ahmed, I have been either ignoring him or staying away. He has been trying I have to give him credit for that but it’s not enough.

By lunch we were done with baking and cooking, Ziyaad got us take outs for lunch which came as a blessing for us ladies. We relaxed a little after lunch and got back to work, setting the tables and chairs and then we layed a separate table for desserts and tea. Just before maghrib everyone starts arriving, we serve dinner after maghrib, everyone in their clicks having good laughs. I see Yaseen sitting with everyone but yet he seems so lost.

This eid is going to be a difficult one for us, especially for Yaseen. He probably planned to spend it with Raeesa and that’s now just a past dream. He hasn’t yet moved on, it’s not that easy it will take a while until he forgets her and forgets all the memories that they made together. We just have to be there for him until the divorce goes through and even after to help him move on obviously at his own pace.

PART HUNDRED AND FIFTY NINE

PART HUNDRED AND FIFTY NINE

I waited the whole day hoping that Ahmed would come home but he didn’t. Saibah was asleep so I took her upstairs and put her down in her cot. I still had some hope that Ahmed would come home so I sat up reading my book, I woke up with the book on my chest and to a crying Saibah. I fed her and then went to see if Ahmed was in one of the other rooms but he wasn’t. I tried calling him but only got his voicemail.

I couldn’t go back to sleep, I am worried, I don’t know where he is or what I should do. I sat on my bed with my head in my hands and tears filling in my hands. I don’t know what’s going through Ahmed’s mind, the only reason I think he is acting this way is because of Asad. Few hours later I hear the door open, I look at the time, it’s 7am. Saibah was still asleep so I left her upstairs and ran down.

It’s Ahmed, I run and hug him, he pushes me away and goes upstairs. I stand there like a statue, disheartened, I was happy to see him but he definitely was not. I followed him upstairs, he can’t ignore me for long, for how long is this going to be a problem. I get his breakfast ready and prepare lunch for him. He has meetings at the office today so I know he is going to be busy, I pack fruits and some yoghurt.

He came down for breakfast and again without saying anything to me he left. He didn’t even look at me or Saibah. My poor baby is now in the middle of this fight which frankly I don’t even know why we fighting. I hate fighting, it’s always exhausting. I sat at home watching tv and taking care of Saibah the whole day. I hear a car pull up the driveway, I checked through the window and it was Ahmed.

He was earlier then I thought he would be. He walked in, came to the lounge, kissed Saibah on her forehead and went to the study, He didn’t say a word to me. I sent Thandi to call him for dinner, he came down, sat at the table, ate his dinner and went back upstairs. I cleared up and then went upstairs, I put Saibah to sleep and then tried to speak to Ahmed. He didn’t let me in the study, I sat on the floor begging him to open but he just wouldn’t.

I woke up this morning still on the floor by the study door. Ahmed didn’t come out of the room as yet, I got up and checked on Saibah and then got ready went downstairs and made breakfast. I waited two hours before Ahmed could come down, he left without having breakfast. I couldn’t live like this everyday so I invited Sabiha out for shopping and lunch. I got Saibah ready and picked Sabiha up.

We went to sandton to do some retail therapy and then had lunch at Europa. I got home just a little after 3pm, Ahmed was already home. Nomsa said he was in our room. I left Saibah with her and went to up to see Ahmed. He was sitting on the chair in the room, looking out of the window. I asked him if he was okay, why he was home so early. He looked at me as if I did something wrong.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” I asked warily.

“Where have you been? I’ve been waiting since lunch time.”

“I went out with Sabiha, you were not home these few days and I can’t wait around for you to decide you want to talk to me.”

“Ofcourse you can’t because you need to be elsewhere.”

“What’s that suppose to mean?”

“Like you don’t know.”

“I don’t, please tell me what’s wrong, what have I done for you to treat me like this?”

“Don’t act naive. You know I’m talking about you and Asad.”

“What about Asad and I? He is my past and you are my present and future. Why is he even in our conversation? This is between you and I.”

“I saw how he looked at you at Irshaad’s house.”

“Jaan he looked at me, I didn’t look at him. I have no interest in him. I love you and only you.”

“Not what he said. He told me that you two still chat.”

“And instead of talking to me about it, you would rather believe him.”

I walked out of the room and went downstairs to get started on dinner. I made cheddermelt steak, with mushroom sauce and creamy spinach. It relaxed me to cook, gave me time to cool down and to think as well. I can’t believe that instead of asking me Ahmed would rather listen to lies. What was Asad even thinking, the last I remember he was getting married, so why is he making trouble for me.

We didn’t say anything to each other at dinner. He ate and then went to watch tv in the lounge. My mother-in-law called and asked  what we decided, if we would be coming for eid or not. He told her that we would be there for supper and the weekend. A few days go by and we haven’t said a word to each other. We now 2 days away from eid, we suppose to be leaving today to my parents but I don’t see that happening. Maybe I should go on my own and just make an excuse for Ahmed.

I am so exhausted with all this fighting, it’s so silly if you think about it. I packed our bags and waited for some sort of indication from Ahmed on what we were doing. Ahmed left again this morning without breakfast so we didn’t talk again. I messaged him to find out if we were going to my parent’s or not. If we didn’t go my parent’s would worry so I needed to call them if we were not going.

He told me to go on my own which really hurt. I didn’t expect him to not come with me, I didn’t think things were so bad. I contemplated whether to go without him or not. I called my mum to let her know that Ahmed had work to do and I didn’t want to leave without him so we will maybe leave tomorrow. I waited again like I did everyday for the past week and when he came home he went up to his study as usual and didn’t come out.

I left our bags packed, I had no energy to unpack and definitely was not in the mood. Saibah got a bit feverish this afternoon so I took her to her paediatrician. I didn’t bother to tell Ahmed although he was home because I figured he didn’t care. When I got back I saw him putting our bags in the car. I was not travelling with my baby who has a fever. I ignored him and took Saibah upstairs, I gave her the medication her doctor prescribed and made her sleep.

Ahmed came up to call me, he said we were leaving to my parent’s now. I told him about Saibah being sick and that I didn’t want to go anywhere for eid, I just want to stay home. He insisted that we go otherwise I would loose out on going to see my family and he will be going to his family. I was angry that he didn’t care that Saibah was sick and would just leave her in this condition and go see his family, so I told him to go to his family and leave us alone.

I heard the front door closing and the car driving off so I assumed he had left. I sat there crying and questioning why this was happening to me. I had done nothing to deserve this and my baby definitely doesn’t deserve this. I sat by Saibah’s side for a few hours, her fever would not go down, it just increased, her doctor came to see her and had her admitted to hospital. I tried calling Ahmed but he wouldn’t answer.

I called Sabiha and Shiraaz, they were the only people I could think off, they came immediately to the hospital. Shiraaz kept trying Ahmed but he switched his phone off. I called my parent’s and told them that we wouldn’t be coming for eid and that Saibah was in hospital. I never mentioned anything about Ahmed not being here.

PART HUNDRED AND FIFTY EIGHT

PART HUNDRED AND FIFTY EIGHT

Ahmed and a few of their friends planned breakfast for Adnaan and Fehmida with all the friends and their families. The breakfast is taking place at our house, I’m so glad that Humeira is here she will be great support for Fehmida. I ordered all the little treats like mini cakes  biscuits and then made Ahmed braai the breakfast chops and some t-bone and Humeira made the eggs. The other ladies will be bring some goodies too.

Everyone slowly started arriving, Humeira and I started making the food hot while we waited for Adnaan and Fehmida. When they got here we served breakfast. I could see Fehmida looked relieved that Humeira was here to give her support. We told everyone to bring their clothes for the walima to our house so they could change by us,  Adnaan and Fehmida were also getting dressed by us, it made things easier.

We still had time after breakfast so we left  the men to have their reunion and we ladies sat in the living room. I think it was a nice way to introduce Fehmida into their friend group. I meet them once every few months because they all live in Ahmed’s hometown but I do keep in contact with them so I know what happens when they get together. By 11am everyone got dressed and we were ready to escort the bride and groom to their walima.

The walima was amazing, we had alot of fun although my feet hurt with the heels, I couldn’t walk anymore and I was tired. Humeira and Ziyaad went to her uncle’s house after the walima, Ahmed and I went home. We enjoyed a lovely cup of tea and relaxed in the lounge. Ziyaad and Humeira got back just before maghrib, we had a light dinner after maghrib and then sat infront of the tv.

They will be leaving back tomorrow, it is always a pleasure having them over. Ahmed enjoys having people stay over, it’s just a pity his family doesn’t ever come over. They losing out on such special moments with Saibah. It’s sad that Saibah will not see much of her paternal side. He phoopi’s spoiling her, her dada and dadi playing with her, she won’t be making memories with them, no holidays or fun experiences.

When we got to bed I spoke to Ahmed about maybe making an effort from our side to spend more time with his family. Maybe we can start with eid, I don’t mind spending eid with them as long as they hostile and Ahmed’s temper disappears. My body felt sore and I was beyond exhausted after this wedding. When I got to bed, I put my head on the pillow and within seconds I was asleep.

This morning while we were having breakfast the house phone rang, Ahmed got up to answer it. I didn’t know who it was all I heard him say was “It’s your choice.” I didn’t want to ask him who it was while Humeira and Ziyaad were here so I waited until they left. His mother called and threatened him that if we don’t come for eid to her she will cut ties with us. How can she force her decisions on others.

We planned to spend the morning and afternoon with my family and we were going for supper and spend the weekend with his family. I hope he doesn’t change his mind after this incident. They always find a way to make him choose to stay away. I don’t tell him anything because he might get angry at me and I don’t want to create problem’s between us.

I want to do something special for Ahmed, something to cheer him up so I decided for lunch I would make some finger foods and go out for a picnic, since it was a last minute thing we had the picnic in our back yard. It was great, Nomsa and Thandi watched on Saibah, they took her to Sabiha and Shiraaz for a little while. I set the blanket on the grass, put big cushions on one side and then layed out all the food.

Ahmed went out for a while so I had enough time to prepare. When he came in he was really surprised and happy that I was doing something to cheer him up. After our romantic picnic we fetched Saibah and went to visit Ahmed’s cousin. His cousin has been telling us so long to come over for dinner but we never have time. Ahmed told him last week that we would see them tonight for dinner.

We get there, they welcome us in and take us to the lounge, I would of turned around and walked out but because they my inlaws I had to be respectful. I could not believe my eyes, Asad was sitting in their lounge. It turns out that he is Aadila’s brother. Ahmed remembered him so it made it awkward, I was just praying that no fight or argument would take place. He didn’t say much, he played a little with Saibah.

Ahmed looked quite comfortable and relaxed, I don’t think it bothered him as much as it did bother me. I kept wondering if he told his sister that he was interested in me. After dinner the men sat and watched the rugby while I helped Aadila clean up. She didn’t mention anything about Asad and I so I was relieved. Our ride back home was brutal, Ahmed didn’t say a word to me. It’s not my fault, I didn’t even know Aadila was Asad’s sister.

Ahmed drove into the garage, he got out of the car and went upstairs. He didn’t even bother to help me with Saibah or to cart everything into the house. I left everything in the car and just took Saibah out of the car seat and went upstairs as well. When I got to the room, Ahmed wasn’t there. I put Saibah down and went to look for him. He took his clothes and went to sleep in the guest room.

Why was he angry with me? What was my fault? I could not understand. I left him to sleep in the other room and went to bed. I thought he was being childish, I am married to him, I have nothing to do with Asad. I only greeted him so Irshaad and Aadila wouldn’t think I’m rude. I never spoke to him afterwards not even once. Asad didn’t speak to me either. Ahmed seemed fine when we were there so what changed.

I woke up after hearing Saibah wail for a few minutes, I picked her up and fed her. I sat on the bed so i just left her on the bed for the rest of the night instead of getting off the bed all the time. I hear Ahmed making noise in the room. I figured his hungry because that’s the only time he will get my attention when his angry with me. I ignored him for a little while until he banged the drawer.

I woke up and scream at him for banging the things. He just walked out of the room, I did the usual bathroom rituals, picked up Saibah and then I went downstairs to make breakfast. Ahmed followed me down, he plopped himself on the couch. After breakfast he went back upstairs, took a shower, got ready and left the house. He hasn’t been home the whole day and it’s already 10pm.

PART HUNDRED AND FIFTY SEVEN

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PART HUNDRED AND FIFTY SEVEN

Ziyaad and Humeira got here just as the sun was setting, it was absolutely stunning to be outside and see the beautiful sky with a tint of pink and orange. While they settled in I made tea for all of us, Humeira helped me with the biscuits and cut the cake as well. Ziyaad and Ahmed were discussing business, Ahmed told him about me taking over some hotels from him. Ziyaad had some good suggestions that I see working.

Ahmed will have to think about it though because his family might object. Ahmed is thinking of buying his parent’s and his sister’s share so then we are the sole owners. He feels his family holds him back especially with decisions. He does most of the work so I think it’s only fair that they sell it to him otherwise they have to start pulling their weight. My father-in-law use to help Ahmed but just after we got married he just stopped paying interest.

It has taken a toll on Ahmed, he was much more relaxed before, I noticed the difference from when I first met him and when I met him before we started dating. He was more work orientated but I must give him due, he always made time for us. He is a good husband and an even better father, I don’t want to see him lose himself in his work and miss out on the important time with his daughter.

Humeira and I set the table for dinner, I dished out the food and called the men. At the table we discuss the situation with Yaseen, Ahmed fills us in about all the events that will happen from now until the divorce. Her father and uncles have promised us that she will sign the papers. I think they more afraid because Ahmed and Shuaib are handling the case and they know we have the power to win this case if it goes to court.

Tonight is the mendhi function, we invited from the boys side and Humeira and Ziyaad are from the girls side. I sent Ahmed to get dressed and to dress Saibah while I cleaned up and put everything away. The mendhi Humeira and Ziyaad were attending was at 8pm so they had to be there earlier since they close family, we were just told that the girls side invited 50 people from the boys side for tea and desserts so we must be at the boys house at 8:30pm.

We were included in the list of 50 people who were going to the mendhi function at the girls house. When we got to the Ahmed’s friend Adnaan’s house only a few of his friends and family were already there,  the rest were still on their way. We waited for everyone and then went to the girls side. The function was just a formality because the bride had put mendhi the day before already.

I was so glad to see Humeira, I didn’t know alot of Ahmed’s friends or their wives or any of Adnaan’s family besides his mother and sister. I know Humeira’s family very well, especially her cousins because of them coming over during holidays. The function was very well organised and the bride’s family took very good care of the groom’s family. We got home just after midnight and I was exhausted.

Some of the friends were going back to the grooms house but I decided to go home because Saibah was very crabby. I hope she will be okay the next three days, we got a hectic weekend. Ahmed and I had a hectic few days so we just wanted to spend some time together. We got into bed and as usual started chatting, we didn’t talk business or about any other problems, It was a night all about us.

I am glad we got to spend some quality time together, sometimes we so busy we don’t know what the other did the whole day. Ahmed wants us to go away for a weekend, maybe leave Saibah with my mum since she is comfortable with my mum. We haven’t spent time together since Saibah was born and we’ve never had a free weekend to do anything so I love his suggestion and maybe we get to go soon.

I sprung out of bed in a shock thinking I’m late, I look at the time and it’s only 7am. Ahmed is still fast asleep and so is Saibah so I decided to go downstairs to prepare breakfast. I can’t decide what to make so I settled for pancakes. We were going out for lunch so I had some time on my hands and decided to take a nice long relaxing shower which I haven’t done in months. I got out of the shower and hear Ahmed calling me.

Saibah was awake and he was too lazy to get out bed. He stopped when he realised that Ziyaad and Humeira were two rooms away from us. I quickly got out of the bathroom just in my robe and attended to Saibah before I got dressed. I left Ahmed to sleep and went downstairs with Saibah. I played with her until everyone was awake and ready for breakfast. Ziyaad was so excited, he has always enjoyed the pancakes I make.

We lazed around for the rest of the day, the wedding is tonight, Humeira and Ziyaad were going to go early to her uncle’s house but they were told that the function was being catered so they didn’t have to go and they didn’t want anyone to see the hall decorations. After Asr we got dressed, Ahmed had to be at the groom’s house before maghrib, he is driving the groom to the mosque and hall.

Ziyaad and Humeira dressed and left before Asr. I will be going straight to the hall just before maghrib, I don’t want to tire Saibah by unnecessarily sitting around with her in my hands. Ahmed will give me a call before they leave to the hall so I will be there when the boys family enters. I get Saibah ready and wait for Ahmed to call, she seems to be okay now so I’m keeping my fingers crossed she stays like this.

Ahmed finally calls so I leave to the hall, I get there just in time, they have also just pulled in. I message Humeira to come and fetch Saibah, I have to walk in with Ahmed so I can’t have Saibah with me. Ahmed hates to do these things but can’t refuse his friends. Humeira finally comes to fetch Saibah. The groom and his family are at the door, they have to pay a fee to enter the hall and then the brides family will feed the groom milkshake.

Ahmed gets to the front because he had the grooms money. They finally finish all the rituals and the grooms family can enter the hall, all his friends that will be walking him in and all those doing the walk through stayed outside. Usually the bride walks in and then the groom but Adnaan wanted to do something special so he wanted to walk in first and waited for his bride and took her up to the stage. When the music started all the couples walked in and then the groom walked in with all his friends and cousins.

We took our seats and then the brides friends and cousins including the miniature bride and groom walked in. I was glad we were sitting at the same table as Ziyaad and Humeira otherwise I would of been bored. Not long after the bride walked in dinner was served, as usual we were slow family because we had to take turns to look after Saibah. Ahmed ate first and then I ate, when I looked around everyone else at our table was done.

After we took photo’s and had tea and desserts some of the close family and friends went to the girls house, I sent Saibah with Humeira and Ziyaad so I could go with Ahmed. We got to the bride’s house and my baby was chunking, she refused to go to Humeira and only wanted Ziyaad until I got there. The bride’s family said their good byes and made bidaai, we then went to the grooms house and then we were off to drop the bride and groom at the hotel.

I decided to rather let Adnaan’s sister go with Ahmed to give the bride company instead of me with Saibah and I stayed with Humeira and Ziyaad at her uncle’s house until they were ready to leave. We didn’t stay long and finally got home. By the time we got home Saibah was asleep, I put her down and changed into my pj’s. I went downstairs to make me some coffee and saw Humeira and Ziyaad already busy making coffee for us.

Ahmed got home just in time to join us for  coffee, we sat in the lounge and spoke about the wedding, I fell asleep on the couch is what i last remembered but woke up in my bed, Ahmed carried me up to our room, he even woke up to feed Saibah. I was so knocked out that I didn’t even hear her cry.

PART HUNDRED AND FIFTY SIX

PART HUNDRED AND FIFTY SIX

It’s been two weeks since we got back from my parents, Alhamdulillah my parents and Yaseen are doing well. Ahmed has arranged for the divorce to be finalised by end of this week. My baby,  my dearest Saibah is now three months old and is such a happy baby. She is finally starting to enjoy bath times and splashes water all over mummy but I enjoy every moment of it. It’s such a special feeling being a parent.

Ziyaad and Humeira are coming over for the weekend,  Humeira’s cousin is getting married here in Lenz. We also invited to the wedding, the guy she is getting married to is one of Ahmed’s friends. Today Ahmed and I are visiting Uncle Abdullah and Aunty Rubina, they want to discuss something with us so we told them we would see them in the week. It’s been a long time since we’ve seen them, maybe too long.

Ahmed gets back from the office, we invited them for dinner at Europa, we thought we’d make the most of the situation. I wasn’t going to take Saibah but they insisted that they want to see her. Ahmed took a shower and got dressed, I changed Saibah and we were all set to leave. We got into the car, as Ahmed pulls out of the driveway I put on the radio, it’s on radio lotus, they playing my favourite song.

Ahmed starts singing along, i look at him with this huge smile on my face, “I didn’t know you were into indian music,” I say. He laughs and carries on singing.
Mohabbat barsa dena tu, sawan aaya hai
Tere aur mere milne ka, mausam aaya hai
Mohabbat barsa dena tu, saawan aaya hai
Tere aur mere milne ka, mausam aaya hai….
We end up singing the whole way to the restaurant.

We get to the restaurant, I see Uncle Abdullah waving to us to indicate where they were seated. The whole family is here, I thought only Uncle Abdullah and Aunty Rubina were coming. Maybe it’s not as serious as it sounded to be. We go over to where they are seated, we exchange salaams and hugs and then sat down. The waiter came by and handed us the menu, Ahmed asks him to give us 10 minutes and then come back.

We check their menu and then the waiter comes by, we place our order and then get to chatting. Rizwana and Farzeen all over Saibah, they couldn’t stop playing with her and Saibah was just amused at Imraan. Ahmed asks Uncle Abdullah what he wanted to discuss, we were a little worried that it was serious. We excitedly listen to what Uncle Abdullah and Aunty Rubina has to say.

They want us to be around for the meeting with Sakina’s parents, the proposal and to be involved with every detail from engagement to wedding. I don’t know if we ready for this especially after everything that happened with Yaseen. Ahmed turns to look at me and holds my hand tightly under the table, He knows what I’m thinking. After dinner, we left the restaurant and got back home. We didn’t say a word to each other on the way back home.

When we got home I took Saibah out of her car seat and went upstairs. Ahmed followed me upstairs. He looked worried, I think he might be worried about how we going to manage everything going on in our lives and still help for Imraan’s wedding. We still don’t say anything to each other, I put Saibah to sleep and take out my pj’s and change, I get into bed and realise Ahmed had left the room.

He knows I won’t be able to turn down Aunty Rubina and Uncle Abdullah because of all the things they have done for me. He knows we have alot going on in our lives especially him with business. Since I invested in the business he feels that he can’t let me down so he has been working extra hard. I need to find a solution maybe offer to help with some of the business things.

I can maybe help with a few hotels, see to the management and help sort out problems or maybe help with the shops. I don’t know at the moment but I should give it some thought. I decide to talk to Ahmed now before it’s too late. Tomorrow Humeira and Ziyaad will be here and it will be difficult to get time alone to speak to him. I go to the study and I see Ahmed sitting on the floor.

You okay babe,” I mutter.

“Yeah I’m okay.”

“You’ve been quiet since we left the restaurant…worried about something?”

“Don’t stress love, I’ll figure something out.”

“Maybe I can help, what if I take over some of your work… maybe help with a few hotels or maybe shops.”

“Love I don’t think that’s a good idea but thanks for thinking about me.”

I don’t argue with him, I can see he is not in the right mood so I go back to bed. I toss and turn a bit until I decide to watch some tv to relax my mind, the repeat of The big bang theory is the only programme that seems to interest me at the moment. I woke up and see the tv still on, I look to my right Ahmed is not there. I get out of bed and go to the study. Ahmed is knocked out on the carpet.

I take Saibah and go downstairs to get breakfast ready, I start on lunch preparations, I got so much to do still and have to be done before Ziyaad and Humeira get her. I’ve been thinking about the dilemma Ahmed is in and decide that there’s a simple solution well two solutions we can either hire a wedding planner or I can handle all the wedding preps and Ahmed see to the business.

I have to speak to him at breakfast and make a decision what we going to do. I know Ahmed doesn’t want me in the business because it takes up alot of time and Saibah is only 3 months old. I can’t leave her with Nomsa and Thandi for too long. Ahmed finally woke up, he came downstairs with a sore neck obviously from the way he slept. He said he came up with a solution and that maybe he stressed too much before thinking it through.

I’ve noticed lately that he stresses over small things very quickly. Maybe he needs to relax a little or see a doctor, I have no idea but we need to sort his health out. He still is as fit as he was when I first met him and has maintained his look, He’s a fair few inches taller than me, which I like. He’s slim, muscular, with an almost perfectly symmetrical face. I on the other hand have a little baby fat to get rid of but I know that will be gone in a few weeks hopefully.

Ahmed tell me his decision and I’m happy with it, he wants to hire a wedding planner but we will both be hands on with everything, he is going to allow me to help him with one hotel for now. One that’s not too busy so I can handle the problems from home he will have his secretary help me also with the things she usually does for him. This will take off some stress from him, he needs the help but sometimes is too stubborn to admit it.

PART HUNDRED AND FIFTY FIVE

PART HUNDRED AND FIFTY FIVE

It’s so pleasant seeing all the support we getting from family and friends. This morning my cousin’s made breakfast and brought it over, we had a huge breakfast with all of them. No one mentioned anything about Raeesa. The sounds of laughter could probably be heard in the next street. Even Yaseen was laughing and forgot his troubles, it was nice seeing him laugh and enjoy the moment.

Ahmed is flying back today, he will be here tomorrow afternoon, I’m so glad that he is coming back. I need him here now more then ever, sometimes only your partner can comfort you. Shuaib and Ziyaad decided that we need to be positive and happy and we need to change the mood in the house so they had a day of fun planned for us. It was a nice gesture and surely got everyone cheered up.

Zunaid came by in the evening, Uncle Omar contacted him, he gave him their lawyers numbers and said they would like to settle this out of court. My brother doesn’t want anything but only for her to sign the divorce papers. The sooner she does that the better for all of us and Yaseen can move on. I still can’t get over all that she has done, I can’t imagine that someone can do such disgusting things.

Ahmed got here just a little after 4, he walked in and greeted, he went to meet my parent’s first. He hugged my dad and then went to hug my mum and kissed her hand. He then came back to the lounge and greeted the rest of the family,  he walked up to me, it was so nice to have him home and to hug him, he gave a peck on my forehead and then went straight to Saibah. He went to see my Dadi next door before he got too comfortable and relaxed at home.

He came back and wanted to know everything that happened. Ziyaad filled him in on everything that happened with Yaseen and Raeesa. He called some people and said he will have it sorted out, I don’t know who he called or what is he even doing. All I know that he can get us out of this quicker then anyone. After our chat with everyone, Ahmed and I went upstairs, I wanted to spend sometime alone with him.

We sat on the bed talking about his China trip and about the villa, then I asked him about his mother and eid. She has called me everyday to see if he has changed his mind, which was so annoying. He didn’t want to talk about his family or anything else. He sat there just holding me and enjoying our time together. We didn’t realise time was getting the better of us, it was already maghrib.

When the men came back from mosque we went to my uncle for the get together braai he was having. It was surprisingly different than what we thought it would be, no one spoke about Yaseen and Raeesa. We were relieved that our family understood that we are going through a difficult time and we need support from them not criticism or stories. It was actually overwhelming especially since we went in expecting the worst.

Tomorrow we will be leaving to go back home, I don’t feel like leaving my parent’s but I have to. We all have to go to our homes and carry on with life, it’s a sad truth. When we got home Ahmed wanted to speak to everyone so we met in the lounge. He knew that it is going to be difficult for all of us, for my parent’s and Yaseen dealing with the situation daily, for Ziyaad and Humeira being their closest support, for Faheema and I because we so far.

So he decided to gather us all and get us all on the same page and share a few words of encouragement. We all went to our rooms afterwards. Ahmed and I got into bed, Saibah was still awake so he played with her for a while before I put her to sleep. ‘Thank you for what you just did,’ I say to him. He pulls me closer, gives me a hug and says, ‘You don’t have to thank me love, this is my family too.’

I felt so special, we have had our ups and downs, more downs in our marriage but I have seen Ahmed change alot in the last few months. Ever since he stood up to his family, we have had nothing but good days. I feel so blessed to have him in my life and to be part of his life. Saibah finally fell asleep, I put her in her cot, hoping she didn’t wake for a few hours.

I got into bed and laid my head on Ahmed’s chest, he wrapped his hands around me making me feel safe and happy, We just laid there talking. I hear Saibah making noises, I wake up only to find Ahmed playing with her in the bed. I don’t like to keep her too long on the bed because she will get use to sleeping on the bed. Faheema always told me not to let her sleep on the bed otherwise we will have a hard time.

“Babes, what are you doing? You know I don’t like Saibah sleeping on the bed.”

“Sorry love, she woke up for a feed and she wouldn’t go back to sleep and I was too lazy to sit on the rocker and make her sleep.”

“You spoiling her!”

I pick up Saibah and go sit on the rocker, trying to make her sleep. I told Ahmed to sleep because he would have to drive us home. He tried for 15 minutes, he tossed and turned but he couldn’t fall asleep. He got up ad came to sit on the floor near the rocker, he sat there just looking at Saibah and I. She finally fell asleep, it usually takes her longer to fall asleep if she wakes up and you entertain her.

We get back in bed and Ahmed is all of a sudden in a chatty mood, I want to get some sleep but he refuses to let me sleep. He grabs me by my waist and pulls me closer to him, he whispers in my ear, “I love you.” I stare into his eyes for a few minutes and then say, “I love you too.” He looked at me weirdly and then said “You had to think about it?”

We lay there holding each other and fall asleep, I wake up a few hours later for fajr and find myself stuck between Ahmed’s arms. I tried getting out without waking him but he was holding on so tight that I had to wake him up. I went to make wudhu, when I came out of the bathroom Ahmed was out of bed already setting musallahs on the floor. He made wudhu and then we read namaaz together.

After we read Ahmed wanted to get back into bed but I chased him into the shower. We need to get back home, we haven’t been home for three weeks now. I’m impatiently sitting in the lounge waiting for everyone to come down so we can have breakfast, I don’t want to eat and then miss out on a nice family breakfast. Ahmed comes down with Faeez and Moinudeen, I can hear them making so much noise.

I want to shout at them but secretly want them to make more noise so everyone wakes up. Finally everyone starts coming down one by one, Humeira and I start on breakfast while everyone else lazed around in the lounge. Ahmed came to help us and also nibble on the goodies, his favourite part of being in the kitchen. We set the tables outside in the back yard, enjoying the morning breeze and fresh air.

My dad is very emotional this morning, he said he feels so blessed having such good daughters and sons and an even better daughter-in-law and son-in-laws. After breakfast we packed out cars and we were off back to our homes. I hate that empty feeling you feel when leaving family behind, it makes me want to cry, well I did cry a bit when I got into the car.