PART HUNDRED AND TWENTY SIX
We all packed and ready for our adventure. Operation ‘fix it’ is our mission for this weekend. I blindfolded Ahmed, got him into the car and then we left. We spoke the whole way about general things, mostly my pregnancy. He did ask a few times where we were going but I refused to answer him.
After three hours of driving we finally get there. I take of the blindfold, hoping that he would not be angry with me. We both haven’t seen our families in a while now and obviously he needs to sort things out with his mother. He was not upset but rather shocked. He asked me what made me bring him to see his family.
I explained to him that we’ve been living in a house where we have no happiness for one whole month. I’ve been eating alone, talking to myself, going to bed alone, practically living alone and doing everything alone. He had promised to be there for all my appointments but missed this one because he was too busy keeping himself occupied, I sent him a message but he didn’t come.
He felt guilty that he was not there for me and he was happy that I understood him and gave him time. He was glad that I didn’t react in a bad way that you would expect most people to. Any wife would throw a tantrum and make a fuss if her husband changed overnight and build a shell around him.
We stayed at his Dadi as we usually do. I haven’t been to my in laws house since the time I’ve been married to Ahmed. We’ve always met them at his grandparents or at a restaurant. This time I had to go to their house, it would be so rude to ask my mother-in-law to come to see us, so that her son can apologise.
I asked Ahmed to apologise to his mother, it doesn’t matter who was wrong but at the end they both miserable and making the family miserable and he can’t expect his mother to apologise, she is elder. Kausar invited us for lunch, this was the best opportunity for Ahmed and Aunty Shenaaz to sort out their differences.
We went to my in-laws just before Zuhr, my mother-in-law was happy to see us but hid her feelings, I could see the tears fill up in her eyes. She asked Kausar what we were doing here. I knew she wouldn’t make it easy for us to stay around her and I know that Ahmed would just end up getting more angry.
I spoke to him before we could come, I’m very well aware of the things my mother-in-law can do. I’ve warned Ahmed already, so there shouldn’t be any problems. I hope that this matter ends today, even if I have to intervene and become the bad one, I will do it. My mother-in-law already doesn’t like me, so it makes no difference to me.
Although she said she will change her thoughts about me just to be part of her grandchild’s life. I know it was said just to please Ahmed and so that he wouldn’t keep her away from our child. After lunch we all sat in the lounge, my father-in-law said he wants my mother-in-law and Ahmed to sort out their difference here and now.
I think he handled the situation well and at the end Ahmed and my mother-in-law made up, although I know Ahmed was not happy that he had to be the bigger person. He wanted his mother to realise her mistake, this way there’s no hope that she will change. I know that Ahmed can’t do without his family.
I’ve been given so much patience by Allah, I’ve come so far and handled so much. I’m glad that through all the problems I still remain myself and I hope not to ever change. I’ve been put through a lot of tests, I want things to change for the best before our child is born.
After everything was sorted out, we decided to go visit all Ahmed’s family. I was just glad that things got sorted out and we didn’t have to go through the weekend with tension. Everyone was really happy to see Ahmed and I. While on our way back to Ahmed’s Dadi, Ahmed expressed his feelings about our relationship with his parents and siblings.
My father-in-law and sister-in-laws are good to me. They treat me well, we speak often, it’s just my mother-in-law who doesn’t want to accept me. Which makes it difficult for us, I know Ahmed would like to spend more time with his family when we in town and also stay in his house. I have told him that he can stay with them and I’m okay with staying at his Dadi , but he won’t leave me alone.
This morning Ahmed came up with a great idea to spend the day with his family. He called Sumaya and Kausar and arranged everything with them. We planned a picnic at a nearby reserve. Ahmed and I went to get all the snacks and his Dadi put up a pot of food for lunch. Sumaya and Kausar had told my inlaws that they were taking them for a picnic.
We got there before them and set up the gazebo and blankets. It was a day to remember, I’ve never seen my mother-in-law so happy to be around us. It was like she forgot she was next to her enemy. We had pleasant conversations between the two of us and we laughed together, made fun of everyone together. Even when we played a game she chose me as her partner.
I was really surprised but felt good that she was finally opening up to me. It felt nice to let down my guard around her and enjoy the day. Although I must say that I did think that she might be putting on an act. Whatever it was, it made Ahmed happy and that’s all that matters to me.
When the day was over and everyone was tired we went back home. Ahmed and I left for Jo’burg, we really had an amazing weekend. Let’s just hope that things remain the way they are and my mother-in-law’s feelings and expressions were not a facade. This relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is very strange.
It’s like a battle for their own identity, a relationship where the one doesn’t know if the other is genuine. It’s been like this for centuries and probably will be for a long time. It’s something that can’t be changed unless both are patient and understanding. Sometimes it can be a lot to handle especially if there’s hatred towards each other or even from one side.
I’m just glad that I have the support of Ahmed. I don’t think it would of been easy if he believed every word his mother said. I still can’t understand how my mother-in-law changed her feelings for me in such a short time and also so much that she has hatred towards me. When I met her the first time when I went for work to their town, she was such a different person, so caring, loving and pleasant to be around.
She had so much respect and love for me. Her son fell in love with me and all of a sudden, she hates me. Sometimes I wonder if I should of asked Ahmed to listen to his mother and marry his ex. Maybe then he would of not had all this tension. I don’t think he deserves being put through so much just for me.
I feel guilty that he quietly accepts that he is putten into this situation. He never ever complains or blames me for the way things are now. It frustrates me at times because I feel helpless when he can’t handle the pressure, especially the previous fight he had with his mother. I know he missed her, but he never once said he did or blamed me.