PART HUNDRED AND TWELVE
The so called “changed” Ahmed lasted for 2 and 1/2 days. I knew it wouldn’t last long. What does he expect? I should just forget that a few minutes ago, He was upset with me for not telling him something that has no relevance to our marriage. Now he wants to forget all that, Just because his “mother” wants to come stay by us. This is a clear situation of ” Use and Abuse.”
I’m fed up! I’m fed up with always being the one to overlook everything. I suggested to Ahmed that he and his parents stay in our house when they are around and I would stay in his apartment. I won’t be in his mother’s way and I will be avoiding any problem. Both of us in one house is definitely going to become and issue.
Ahmed refuses to have us live separate. He wants to see how we would handle staying with each other. The last time that happened, I was left with no furniture in my house. Ahmed laughs at the situation but it’s not funny. He such a selfish person, he does everything that is in his favour.
So a few days go by, we haven’t said a word to each other. It’s like living alone, I get up do all the chores, cook and then I sit and watch TV or read a book, Ahmed wakes up, watches TV, reads the newspaper, makes his own breakfast, lunch and supper we have together but there’s no communication. I don’t know how long this is going to go on for.
Tomorrow I’m leaving to my parents. I’ve decided to stay at their place until Ahmed sorts himself out. I’m becoming depressed around him, it’s not good for my health. I wrote a note to Ahmed telling him that I’ll be at my parents, I’ve spoken to my boss to send our manager from our other branch to Jo’burg and I will handle my old branch until and I sort things out.
I started packing my things, I haven’t told Ahmed anything as yet, I’ve left the note in the study, where he has been staying lately. Ahmed saw me packing so he came to the room, he didn’t say anything to stop me or even find out what is happening. I put everything in my car and then went to bed.
This morning I left before Ahmed could wake up, I had already told my parents that I was coming for work, I didn’t tell them that I’m actually taking time away from Ahmed. When I got home I saw a few missed calls from Ahmed, I called him back, we haven’t spoken in a week and now he wants to talk when I’m away.
Me: Assalaamualaikum, what happen?
Ahmed: You left me, without a word or trying to make things right.
Me: I’m not the one who’s avoiding you, not like I haven’t tried. You always shut me out.
Ahmed: So now what do you want to do?
Me: It’s not me who has to decide, you need to clear your head and decide what you want. I can’t continue like this. You sort yourself out and then let me know what you want to do.
I cut the call, I don’t have anything else to say to him. I will also have time to think what I want to do. I know I love him, but love is not the enough in our situation. I need Ahmed to realise what he is doing and if he doesn’t change, we are going to be stuck in this situation. We have to choose then whether we want to live in a relationship where we always at each others throats or a healthy relationship.
It was already Asr, I read my Salaah and then went to help my mum for supper. Someone knocked on the door, our domestic opens the door. It’s Zinat, she saw my car outside and wondered what I was doing here. My mum left us alone in the kitchen so we could speak. I told Zinat what happened. She was shocked that I took the step of being separated.
No one believes that I would take such a step. I always said I would never let trivial matters ruin my marriage and I would never separate from my husband. Zinat feels I should of spoken to him before I left. Others won’t know what I feel and what I’ve been through, they don’t know how distant Ahmed can become so it’s easy for them to speak.
My dad got back from shop and wanted to know what exactly happened between Ahmed and I. My dad said he would speak to Ahmed, I don’t want anyone else getting involved but my dad is insisting. Just before supper my dad called Ahmed to find out what is happening between us.
My dad: Assalaamualaikum, how are you Ahmed?
Ahmed: Wasalaam, Alhamdulillah and yourself?
Dad: Shukr to Allah. Ahmed tell me what plans do you have for the future with my daughter?
Ahmed: What you mean dad?
Dad: Well you know my daughter is here, she told me everything. But I wish to hear what you are doing? Do you want to be with her or not? What are you doing to your relationship?
Ahmed: Dad, I want to be with her. Things are just so complicated.
Dad: What’s complicated? She ended things with Asad a long time ago. They were not even dating or anything, she knew he liked her and he came to propose which she then turned down. It’s simply, why are you two complicating things. I can’t see my daughter like this.
Ahmed: I will sort things out Dad. Don’t worry.
When my Dad was done. He told us about his talk with Ahmed. I told my Dad to leave it and let us handle it. It’s not only about Asad, it’s more to it then others know. Ahmed sent me a message, ‘What the hell? You got your Dad to call me. You can’t keep our relationship between us, you had to involve others.’
Now I am angry, How dare he think I got my Dad to call. He is my Dad not “others” How can he just assume things. I will never forgive him for this. How dare he speak about my Dad like this. I decide to give him a few days to cool off and see what happens from there. There’s nothing else I can do, I just have to wait and see what he comes up with.
After Esha, I get a nasty message from my mother-in-law, which I totally expect from here. She has never had anything good to say to me and never will have anything good to say. I don’t respond to her message because she is waiting for a reaction and then she will run to her son and complain.
I just laid in bed sobbing into my pillow, expecting a miracle to happen. I don’t know what to expect. Maybe things are over between Ahmed and I, it was a adventurous few months, we’ve been through a lot. We have a lot to deal with and at the beginning of a marriage to have so many problems is difficult. Our biggest problem is his family. Everything starts and ends with them.