PART HUNDRED AND TEN
There’s no groceries in the house, so Ahmed and I went out for breakfast and then we went to the mall to do some shopping. Then we went to visit Sabiha and Shiraaz, They were really excited to see us. Shiraaz and Ahmed were planning a fishing trip. I told them not to plan anything soon, we haven’t been home in a few weeks and a lot has happened.
Ahmed and I are just recovering from a hectic holiday and I need some rest. I still have three weeks until our company re-opens, so we can give it a break for a week or so. We ended up having lunch at Sabiha’s and only going home after Asr. When we got home I made chicken fillet and Sharwamas for supper. Ahmed went for Maghrib namaaz and we had supper afterwards.
Sitting in front of the TV, Ahmed out of the blues says, ” We should start a family.” I actually choked on my coffee, I turned to him and said, ” A family? You not serious right?” He looked at me as if he wasn’t happy with my reaction. I went closer toward him and held his hand, and said, ” don’t get me wrong babe’s, but a baby now? Our life is such a mess, we still having so many problems.”
There was silence for a few minutes and then I said, “We always fighting every time your family tell you something, you take out your frustration with them on me, is it really advisable to bring a child into this environment? I’m not saying I don’t want to start a family but we need to give us some time before we plan a family, It’s not that easy.”
Ahmed looked disappointed, he got up and went to the study. He just said, he had some work he remembered about. I didn’t know how to react, I don’t want to rush. We are only married for few months now, we have had more fights and problems than happy moments. We just not ready, you can see we not ready, especially seeing Ahmed’s reaction.
Instead of talking about it, he would rather get upset and go to another room, which will lead to a fight later and it’s worse then because the tension has build up. I tried to speaking to Ahmed afterwards but he just shut me out. He wants to start a family and soon and he is not willing to compromise at the moment. I know I want a family, but I just think that it should come at a time you ready.
I hate going to bed upset with each other, so I kept trying to talk to him. He shut the door to the study, so I sat there on the floor on the other side of the door waiting for him to open. I can’t believe he is so upset at the fact that I don’t think we should start a family. I found his behaviour childish and thought to myself, “If you act like a child, you not ready to have a child.”
I basically sat there and he never opened the door until the morning, I fell asleep on the floor and woke up when my head hit the ground when Ahmed opened the door. He walked over my legs and went straight to the bathroom, it didn’t even bother him that I slept on the floor waiting for him to open the door. He would probably say ” I chose to sit there.”
I went to take out my clothes and then went into the shower, I got dressed and then went to make breakfast. I went to calm Ahmed but he was nowhere in the house. I called his phone but he didn’t answer, so I left it. If he is going to be stubborn then there’s nothing I can do about it, Especially since it’s such a trivial matter.
I needed a few things from the Indian spice shop, so I left a note for Ahmed on the TV. When I got back, I saw Ahmed’s car, I went in to see if he was still upset. He was standing in the kitchen with a box of chocolates and a bouquet of flowers. He said, he’s sorry for over-reacting, he doesn’t understand why I don’t want a family.
I told him my reasons and told him that he can’t always think that he can get upset for trivial matters and then make up by getting chocolates and flowers. I was not upset, I just feel he always tried to buy me over with gifts and expects me to give in to his “demands.” I cleaned up the house and then we went out for lunch.
At lunch, he said how sorry he was for shutting me out, he needed time to think. He thought that by having children,our relationship would be better. We left the restaurant with our problem sorted, we were going to wait to have children. At least until we married for a year or so. When we get home, we see that Aunty Razina and her family are back from their holiday.
We go greet them and then go home. Ahmed decides to call Raeesa’s father to make arrangements for our families to meet and take it from there. Raeesa’s father agrees to see my family this weekend. Ahmed calls my dad and let’s him know, my dad agrees and so the planning starts. Ahmed, Imraan, Rizwana, Farzeen and I go out for bowling and then we go for supper.
The week goes well, Ahmed and I spend more time with each other and we get closer. Ahmed tell me about this business trip he has to make in January and he wants me to join him, he also suggests that I leave work and work for him in his accounts department. Obviously that would mean working from home since his main branch is run from his home town.
My parents are arriving tomorrow and so are the rest of my family. We have to meet Raeesa’s parents the day after so we all excited. Ahmed and I sort out everything we need to, with the big family I have, we hoping our place is big enough. We go to the mall for some shopping and then get back and tidy up the place.
We go to bed but both can’t fall asleep, so we sit and chat a little, Ahmed takes my hand and rubs his fingers on my finger tips, we speak about our future, how we need to stop fighting over things, he also agrees that a lot of our fights he starts and it’s most of the time related to his family. He knows that he takes his frustration out on me and that he should stop.
We both decided to change and to make our marriage work. We have to work really hard, especially if we want to bring children in the picture. I told Ahmed to forget about getting his family to accept me, if they want to, they will do it on their own. It shouldn’t be forced onto them. Ahmed asks me what I decided about joining him. I’m so confused about it. It will be me again dependant on him.
This morning we quickly get ready and have breakfast before everyone comes. It’s Jummah so I have to cook for lunch for everyone. I prepare chicken biryani, with papad, dhai, salads and Sojee. Faheema and them get here before my parents, the kids are overly excited to see us. Ahmed is all of a sudden this loving husband and has been all over me today.
I am feeling so special, I wish he stays this way and doesn’t go back to his old ways which he inherited after we got married. I make it known to him that I appreciate the effort he is making. My parents arrive just before Azaan, we help them unpack the car and then the men leave for Jummah. We go read our Salaah and then Faheema and I set the table.
The men come back from Jummah, we have lunch and then we all go out to the mall. We take the kids to the entertainment centre and then go for ice cream to milky lane. Then we head back home, my mum shows us all the things she bought for Raeesa, we will obviously only give her all these things once her parents and she gives consent. Ahmed, Shuaib and Ziyaad tease Yaseen, he turns red in his face.
I help Yaseen and start with Ziyaad.
Me: So how’s our bhabhi doing? Is she ready to be part of our family?
Ziyaad: she is excited.
Me: So what does she call you?
Me: Oh ho so schweeet.
Ziyaad starts blushing. My mum shouts us for teasing him and then she starts with him. All he does is blush away. We make coffee for everyone and then sit in front of the TV watching old memories that we stored on dvd.