PART NINETY THREE
My parents agreed to meet with Raeesa and her parents. It was tough getting my mum to agree, let’s just hope she doesn’t become Ahmed mother on this one. She didn’t want me to get into a family like that so she can’t expect to be like them and have someone give their daughter to her.
After everyone cooled down then Ahmed and I went upstairs to my room. I tried to avoid the topic about Ziyaad, I know my parents are trying to justify not telling me before the rest of the family knew. Ahmed said I was over-reacting, maybe they had a genuine reason. I just ignored him, what does he know.
I hope Ahmed doesn’t force the issue of his mother coming over when he is away, I really need sometime alone. He doesn’t understand that sometimes a person needs a break away from life and being alone for a little while helps. My mum called Faheema to tell her I was upset that they didn’t tell me about Ziyaad so Faheema phoned me to try to sort things out.
I told her not to get involved, I don’t know why my mum is trying to force the issue. I’m not okay with it, they hid something so big from me. I always told them things, i was always honest, I guess we all not have same. When we got to bed, Ahmed asked what have I decided about his mother coming to stay with me.
I was really not in the mood to argue or give reasons why I don’t want her around, so I just said it’s okay she could come. I don’t know how I’m going to manage two weeks alone with his mother but I guess I have to try it someday or the other. I apologised to Ahmed, I feel that he was offended so he reacted badly towards me.
Ahmed also apologised and said that he was also wrong, he made me feel like I forced him to spend the weekend with my family and he only did so because I didn’t say yes to having his mother over. I was extremely exhausted, we had a hectic day, too much drama for one day.
This morning I decided to make breakfast for everyone, I don’t get to do it often. I was still upset with them but they are my family after all. We were invited for lunch by my uncle next door. So we went over, I made an oreo dessert, it was a hit with everyone. We had a nice weekend although there was a lot of tension.
Not really a weekend you expect when it’s your first time back home after you get married but it was what it was. I started to get that weird inexplicable feeling when you have to leave your family. I always hate that feeling, this time it feels a bit different, like I’m going forever and never returning.
Anyways Ahmed and I left to go back home. On our way Ahmed tells me that his parents are already in Jo’burg and that he knew I would say yes so he called them on Friday afternoon. I was shocked and disappointed as well. How could he not tell me this before, it felt like he manipulated me in to agreeing.
He knows I try to avoid conflict and so he pushes me to a point where I give up. There was no use upsetting myself over it because it wouldn’t change things. I never spoke to Ahmed the whole way, he kept trying to talk to me but I just ignored him. When he didn’t get the point I put on my ear plugs so I couldn’t hear him.
The whole way back home I kept thinking that things haven’t started off good, imagine what they will be for the rest of our lives. Will it always be like this, my relationship with my family, with my inlaws, my marriage. I love Ahmed too much to let go and I want to make things work but he makes it so difficult.
There’s no one I can talk to about how I am feeling, I don’t really want to speak to any family and end up making my life a joke. When we got home Ahmed called his parents and told them to come to our house. It was the first time that his parents were coming to my place. I was nervous and also felt like my privacy and space was going to be invaded.
No matter how angry I am with Ahmed, I can’t take it out on his parents and plan to make their stay a pleasant one. Ahmed said that his father would only be staying for a few days and then he would go back and his mother will be with me until he gets back from China. So the person who sees me as her enemy and hates me, I have to spend two weeks with.
My mother took a tour of the house and Ahmed kept saying, “We haven’t really got a chance to change things.” I mean really what was so bad with the way I have my house that I have to change things. I could see that although this is my house and I paid the rent, well technically the company I work for pays the rent, I would have to live under their rule.
We went out for supper to ocean basket, so my father- in-law tells the waiter we only need one menu and he gives the menu to my mother-in-law. She orders a few items and that’s what we all must eat. I was amazed that Ahmed sat there and didn’t say anything knowing that I don’t eat the things she ordered.
This is what his mother ordered, for starters was oyster platter and mussels in lemon garlic sauce, main was grilled salmon with stir fry and then she ordered rice and chips. I don’t eat oysters, mussels or salmon, so I just had chips and rice. My mother-in-law kept saying have some oysters, have salmon.
I was highly annoyed, I just wanted to get home so I could make myself a sandwich. We got home past 11pm and I had to go to work the next day so I excused myself and went to bed. I was still starving and didn’t want to let anyone know I didn’t eat properly. I remembered a packet of crisp on the top shelve in my cupboard so I quietly ate a bit before I slept.
Ahmed came to the room and caught me having the crisp. He asked why was I eating crisp if we just had supper. I didn’t answer him and put the crisp away and went to sleep. He knows I’m upset so he tried not to upset me more so he just gave me a kiss on my forehead and left the room.
In the morning I woke up and got ready for work, everyone was still asleep. Ahmed was staying at home to spend time with his parents so I didn’t wake him. I didn’t want to wake anyone so I decided to get breakfast at work. I left a note for Ahmed that I would be late but aunt Rubina would take care of supper for me.
I don’t think my mother-in-law would be too happy with that but I work for a boss and have deadlines. I ordered breakfast from the canteen downstairs and then went to my meeting. After my meeting I went to a client in Pretoria, then I got back to the office and had to attend to a client in town.
By the time I finish running between meetings it was already 5pm. I still had to make reports and sort out their books, a few of us stayed behind to finish. I think it’s unfair if I left my staff to do all the work just so I could get home. They also have family to take care of, some of them got children who were waiting for them to get home.