Today I had Reeza and Safiah coming over for lunch. The returned last night from honeymoon and we’re staying the weekend in Jo’burg before they went to Cape Town. I didn’t know if Ahmed was coming, I did tell him but after last night I doubt he would.
I got my domestic to clean up while I prepared lunch and dessert for us. Ahmed came just after 12 o’clock, he helped sat the table and then he came to see if I needed help in the kitchen. He didn’t say much to me besides the necessary talking. I guess I had to just deal with it.
Safiah and Reeza arrived after Zohr, she looked so good and happy. They told us all about their honeymoon and what their plans were for the next week and eid. I was glad that she found someone that makes her happy. She deserves to be happy.
After lunch Safiah and I went to the kitchen, I was making tea while the men went outside for a smoke. First we just spoke about the usual things like work and household things. Then she asked so what’s happening with you and Ahmed. I so much wanted to tell her that things might be over for us but I didn’t say anything.
I just told her that we were good, nothing really happening is still the same. Just then Ahmed and Reeza walked in, Reeza jokingly said ” you ladies talking about us me.” Ahmed just looked at me and then said ” I’m sure complaining about us.”
I ignored his sarcastic remark and served tea and desserts. Safiah and Reeza sat for a little while after tea and then left. After they left Ahmed wanted to help me clear up but I refused. He sat for a while and then I asked him to leave, him being around was nothing but torture for me.
He expects me to act normal after his nasty remarks. I’m not going to put myself through that torture. He first didn’t want to leave and said we needed to sort this out but I didn’t want to hear anything. I was too upset and needed time to think. If he could pass a nasty comment like “maybe he needs to re-think,” then there’s something wrong in our relationship.
After I pleaded with him, he finally left but he said,” if I go I might not come back.” That just hit me so hard that I burst out crying. He heard me but just left without looking back. At that moment I knew things were over. I sat on the floor crying, Rizwana saw my door open so she came in.
She tried to calm me down but I saw her and just started crying more. She phoned Imraan and told him to come to my place. Imraan asked me what happened and I told him while Rizwana cleaned up the tea dishes. Imraan left after I told him what happened, he didn’t say where he was going.
I sat in the lounge staring at the ceiling, hoping for a miracle. I can’t believe this is happening to me and for what because I don’t want to spend eid this year with his family. Maybe I should of just agreed but that would not solve the problem I’m faced with now. I was so silly, I fell in this relationship and put my all in it and Ahmed probably didn’t even care.
He probably just did what his mum told him too. This just makes me think if he ever cared, but I’m not going to doubt him because in our weak moments we so just that and it doesn’t allow us to see or think rationally. We then make the wrong decisions.
Rizwana sat with me while she tried to get a hold of Imraan, we needed to know where he went. He didn’t answer our calls so after a while we stopped trying. I told Rizwana to go home but she refused and said she wasn’t leaving me alone when I need her.
After a few hours Imraan came back, he said he went to see Ahmed so he could hear his side of the story and know what his up to. I asked him what Ahmed had to say but he refused to tell me. He said I should rest today and he would tell me tomorrow. How could he expect me to rest.
I decided I was going to call my sister and have her tell me what I should do. Imraan and Rizwana went home and I called Faheema, I told her everything from the beginning. She said I shouldn’t worry she would sort it out. I didn’t know how but I trusted her more then anyone else.
I sat the rest of the day in my room, thinking and crying. I even messaged Ahmed to ask him what he wanted. I wanted to know if things were over between us. The sooner I knew the better, I would start moving on or working on what we have trying to get back what we had.
All this is only possible if I know where I stand. Faheema messaged me to say that she and Shuaib would be in Jo’burg in the morning and will sort out everything. She said not to tell anyone that they were coming or about what happened because everyone will just worry.
I couldn’t sleep the whole night I left the radio on and sat in bed making dua that everything gets sorted. I wasn’t ready to loose Ahmed, I can’t afford to loose the one man I love and adore with all my heart and soul. I didn’t want to give up hope, I needed to stay positive.
In the morning I took a shower and got ready, I made breakfast for myself and waited for Faheema and Shuaib. Rizwana came to check on me, she waited with me for Faheema to come. We spoke about Ahmed and I, she said she couldn’t believe he was saying all those nasty things.
Rizwana even suggested that his mother could be putting him up to all this just so I can change my mind about eid. Would a mother really do something so drastic that it could cost her son his relationship. I doubt Aunty Shenaaz is such a person, what does she have against me that she would stoop so low.
I was getting impatient, I couldn’t handle the waiting. Finally they arrived, Aunty Rubina cooked for us for lunch, so we sat immediately for lunch and then we sat and spoke. I told them everything from the beginning right until all his nasty comments and me messaging him last night.
Faheema was furious but Shuaib said that he would like to talk to Ahmed first so we called Imraan over so he could take Shuaib to Ahmed. Faheema and I wanted to go with but Shuaib refused and said we would just make things worst. I was so restless waiting for Shuaib to come back and tell us what happened.
My mum called on Faheema’s phone and told her that they all want to come to Jo’burg for eid because they don’t want to leave me alone. Faheema explained to my mum that it wasn’t a good idea. It would just create more problems for Ahmed and I.
After a while she agreed and then Faheema cut the call because she couldn’t hold back anymore. She started crying, saying why am i being out through all this agony. She doesn’t know how to help me and hopes that Shuaib going there to talk to Ahmed doesn’t make matters worst.