PART SIXTY EIGHT
Ahmed came home after work to see how I was doing. Aunty Rubina sent supper for us, we had supper and then sat and spoke about our plans for eid. Ahmeds mother wants I must go to their place for eid but my mum wants me to come home for eid.
I’m stuck between the two because Ahmed is with his mother on this. My mum says I’m not married into the family how car I spend eid with his family. His family lives 3 hours away from Jo’burg, if I spend eid with them I will be on the road most of the day.
I don’t know what to do, I want to please both sides. My mum does have a point though, how can I spend eid with the Khans if I’m not yet married in their family. I have to try to explain this to Ahmed. We still have two weeks before eid so I have enough time to try and convince him.
Maybe we should just spend eid separate with our own families. I just hope his mother doesn’t make a issue out of it. I can’t believe or maybe I should believe that Ahmed is taking his mother’s side without thinking rationally. Anyways I wasn’t going to let this spoil my mood or eid.
Ahmed went home and I went back to bed. I sat in bed thinking what I should do, maybe I should just stay in Jo’burg for eid. So I had three options, one which is to go to Ahmeds family for eid,which isn’t even an option because it’s non- existent, then there’s eid with my family back home, which I would love.
My third option is eid in Jo’burg all by myself because Ahmed will go home and Aunty Rubina and them are going to durban to Uncle Abdullahs mother’s place. Eid alone would be so crappy but if that’s what it takes to make peace between the two families and Ahmed and I then that’s what I need to do.
The next morning I woke up, had breakfast and then I decided to read to calm my mind. I borrowed a book from Farzeen and I haven’t had time to read it. I had such a relaxing day, no noise, no work tension, I put my phone on silent and I sat in the lounge reading my book.
I only woke up from my seat when I needed to have lunch and when my domestic had to leave. In the evening my sister called to see what my plans are for eid. I told her about my dilemma and she suggested that I go home and explain to Ahmed that our whole family will be together and I will only be alone.
Last eid my sister spent with her inlaws so this eid they will spend with my parents. Usually they have one eid which is usually eid-ul-fitr with us and Eid-ul-adha with her inlaws. Shuaib is very understanding and he makes sure they are fair to both families.
What a nuisance this decision has become, the quicker I find a solution the better. Faheema was telling me about her first eid with her inlaws. Her inlaws do everything different from our family. We always change twice, we wear a Abaya for the morning and change for the afternoon when we go out visiting.
We have a big breakfast with kebaab chutney, roast baby chickens and chops, we make savouries and have cakes and biscuits as well. At Faheema’s inlaws they make egg bread and make savouries. She waited for all the other goodies and nothing came out so she just had to have that sad breakfast.
The following year she changed things in their house and made all the lekker goodies and her inlaws were all pleased with her. Her mother in law said that she always made that breakfast for eid because her mother in law did the same but was happy that it changed.
Her father in law actually said he was tired of that eid breakfast and needed something new. I guess I will have to see what Ahmeds mum makes for breakfast on eid. After speaking to my sister I spoke to my nieces and nephews.
It was nice talking to them, they all had their own stories to tell. About play school and their friends, about their aunts and uncles and dada and dadi. after I spoke to them I called Ahmed and told him that I would be having eid with my family and if he had a problem with it I would spend eid in Jo’burg.
He suggested that I spend eid in Jo’burg then because he didn’t want to upset his mother. So I guess that’s it, decided I will be spending eid alone. Ahmed doesn’t know that I will be alone on eid. I don’t intend telling him, I don’t want to argue and I don’t want to disappoint anyone.
I phoned my mum and told her that I would be in Jo’burg for eid and asked them to make qurbaani on my behalf. I wasn’t going to look for a farm to slaughter and then go alone on eids day. I asked my mum not to tell anyone that I was spending eid alone.
My mum was sad that I was stuck in this situation and she couldn’t do anything to get me out of this situation. I could hear her clear her throat trying to hide the fact that she was crying. My dad took the phone and asked me what I told my mum. I told him what happened and he said that I did the right thing.
I have to listen to what Ahmed says because he is going to be my husband,. What he says is what I should obey, said my dad. I am disappointed in the decision I am forced to take but I have no choice. I need to please my future inlaws and Ahmed and I need to please my parents.
Rizwana came over to take some of their meat from my freezer, Aunty Rubina was marinating her meat or eid already. She wanted to be done before hand so it’s not a rush last minute. Rizwana asked me where I was spending eid and I told her.
She was shocked that Ahmed was letting me spend eid alone but then I told her he didn’t know and she shouldn’t tell him. It’s not a big deal if you really look at it. it’s just a weekend alone, it will be peaceful and at least I will catch up on other hobbies that I have neglected. I can keep myself busy.
Rizwana said she would check with Sakina what she was doing for eid and maybe I could join her and her family. I wasn’t really upto it, you don’t really want to impose on others especially on a special like eid. They want to spend with their own family.