PART FIFTY SIX

PART FIFTY SIX
 
I know my mum wouldn’t refuse anything for Zinat. She was upset but I told her I would be back, it was just for the day. She was only upset because I had planned a day with her at the spa. I didn’t cancel, I decided to send Zinats mum in my place.
 
After breakfast I went to the mall and sorted out the engagement ring for Ahmed. Then I went to the florist to sort out flowers for the engagement. I went home afterwards and tried to spend as much time with my mum to make up for not going with her to the spa. 
 
I left after lunch to go back to Jo’burg, I still haven’t heard from Ahmed. I was worried why was he coming home so soon and why isn’t he calling me or at least keeping in touch with me. Zinat drove us to Jo’burg, she said I was in no state to drive since I was stressing so much. 
 
When I got home everyone was so shocked to see me. I had told them that I would only be back on Sunday afternoon so they got worried. I told them the same thing I told my parents, Zinat had to see a doctor. 
 
I checked with Kausar and she said Ahmed was still coming home on Thursday morning. I called his assistant to make sure of arrangements and asked her to have his apartment cleaned for him. I intend on bringing him first to my apartment and then take him home. 
 
I hope by me doing all this I don’t upset him more. I didn’t know if I was right in doing this or not and no one could tell me. I eagerly waited for the next morning. I just sat in one spot thinking of what was going to happen.
 
I hope I don’t make matters worst, what is going through Ahmeds mind? What if he is not upset? What if he just wanted to surprise me? Wait if that was the case then why so many days he hasn’t even sent one message or returned one call. I’m sure he is upset, who wouldn’t be if your partner doesn’t trust you. 
 
I’ve really made things worst, I have just ruined a good thing that has happened to me after so long. After all the drama with Asad and Ridhwaan, I had something good and I didn’t look after it. I don’t deserve to be with Ahmed, I don’t deserve him. He deserves better. 
 
All these thoughts went through my mind, I couldn’t sleep. I knew Ahmed would be on a flight but still I tried to call him, his phone was off. I burst out in tears, asking Allah to forgive me, asking Allah to make his heart soft, to help me. I couldn’t take this anymore, I was going insane. 
 
I can’t live without Ahmed, I will go insane if I don’t have him in my life. My life will be meaningless. I woke up this morning on the floor next to my bed. I fell asleep while crying by my bedside. I got ready and went to the airport, I left Zinat at the apartment. 
 
When I got to the airport Ahmeds flight had not yet landed. I waited for him but the longer I waited the more nervous I got, the more I thought I shouldn’t of come. After 30 minutes I checked and saw that Ahmeds flight had landed. I felt like I had butterflies in my stomach. 
 
Then I saw Ahmed walking out and he noticed me waiting for him. He walked up to me and gave me this big hug, then whispered into my ears “I love you”. He was so normal with me, I was confused, if he isn’t angry why did he not return my calls or message me. 
 
I didn’t ask him anything, I wanted us to get home first, when we got to the car I told him that we were going to my apartment because they still busy cleaning his, he didn’t say anything. Once we got home I made breakfast for him and he went to shower. 
 
Zinat went to Aunty Rubina’s, I waited for him to finish, I didn’t know whether I should ask him anything or whether I should just let him go to his apartment and forget the rest but then I thought that I didn’t come all this way and lie to everyone just to say nothing. 
 
After breakfast Ahmed wanted to go to his apartment so I took him. He wanted to fetch his car. On our way I asked him why he didn’t return my calls and reply to my messages. He said he was busy and there was no time. I didn’t tell him that I spoke to Kausar and she told me that he was in contact with them. 
 
I felt the distance between us, I was afraid of this. I dropped him off and I left, he thought I was going to wait. I didn’t wait because I didn’t want him to see me in tears. When I got home I told Zinat that we could leave, she asked if things were sorted out, “far from it and I doubt there’s a chance to” I said. 
 
I was hurt, why was he doing this to me for such a small thing, I didn’t react this way when I got those photos and letter. Everything I was afraid of was happening. I messaged Ahmed to tell him that I was leaving to go home, I had only come to pick him up from the airport. 
 
He called and asked me to wait he was on his way to my house. I didn’t want to wait I was upset with him but Zinat said we should wait maybe things could change. I was hoping so but didn’t expect it to. We waited for 30 minutes when his place was 5 minutes walk away from me. 
 
I didn’t think he was coming. He called Zinat and told her to keep me waiting he had something he had to do before coming to see me. I was not aware of this so I kept wanting to leave and Zinat kept insisting on us waiting. I almost at one stage decided to leave her and go. 
 
Ahmed finally came, he walked in with roses and a box in his hand. He gave the roses to Zinat and told her it was for all her help. Then Zinat said she was going for a walk, she left us alone. 
 
Me: So you wanted me to wait for this? 
 
Ahmed : No, we need to talk, I’m sorry. 
 
Me: Sorry for? 
 
Ahmed : For being such a jerk. I know I should of called you but when I got your message I was upset that you doubted me but after a while I realized that I would of probably done the same. I don’t want us to have problem because someone is trying to make problems. I know what I have to do now. 
 
I didn’t say anything. He told me that I should get home before it gets dark, Zinat and I left. I know our discussion was not over and that he wanted to say more but there was no time. I messaged him as soon as we got home. He called and we cleared all our confusions and decided not to let silly things get in between us. 
 
He said he was going home for the weekend and would be back by Sunday night. He wanted to go and see his family and check on how far they were with the engagement preparations. There are just two weeks left and then it will be our engagement day. 
 
Now that things were sorted and I couldn’t wait to get back to Jo’burg and be with Ahmed but when he got home he told me that he wasn’t coming back to Jo’burg, he was going to meet me on our engagement day. He said that he had to sort out things at his office and had to take care of some things. 
 
I was disheartened but I knew if it wasn’t important he would of come back. Anyways I had one more thing to do before I left to go back to Jo’burg and that was to come clean with my family and tell them why I really went and that it wasn’t for an appointment. 
 
My mum and dad were both upset that I lied but when I told them why I lied and that I needed to sort things out myself, I didn’t want them to be involved. It could of made things worst, they both understood and forgave me. 

PART FIFTY FIVE

PART FIFTY FIVE
 
I couldn’t sleep the whole night, I was too excited to go back home. We left after breakfast and we reached around lunch time. I made my Zohr, off loaded the car and then spend the rest of the day with my mum. All my mum spoke about was the engagement. 
 
My mum had already booked the hall, spoke to the caterers, printers and cook. All I had to do is choose the colour scheme and engagement cards, shop for a few things, the rest was taken care off. My mum even took care of accommodation for all the guests who were from far. 
 
I told my mum I don’t want anything grand, I want both engagement and wedding simple and as small as possible. We rather save the money and use it where it’s needed. My parents wanted everything grand like Faheema’s wedding.
 
After supper I went to my uncles house to see my dadi, I asked my dadi to come spend a few days with me at our house. I missed visiting dadi everyday after work. I told my mum to let Zinat help her with the engagement and all the preparations because I will only becoming a day before the engagement. 
 
I haven’t spoken to Ahmed in two days. I’ve been busy the weekend and I was feeling guilty for doubting him but I had to speak to him now or later, I don’t want to hide the fact that I sent those photos for checking but I am afraid because I’m not sure how will Ahmed react. 
 
I spoke to Faheema about it and she suggested I tell him the truth, she said it’s better for him to know from me then from someone else and I should tell him that at that time I was confused and didn’t know what else to do. 
 
I tried calling Ahmed but he didn’t answer my calls. I then messaged him and told him everything. I waited for a reply or at least a call from him but he didn’t call or message. I started to panic what if he was upset after knowing the truth. 
 
He usually calls after seeing so many miss calls. I called Kausar to see if they had any contact with him but I asked her not to tell the family, they will get worried and it could be that his just busy. She said they spoke to him via Skype about two hours ago. 
 
I asked Kausar to message him and tell him I’ve been trying to get hold of him and maybe my messages are not going through to him. So why didn’t he call me or reply to my message. Did I make a mistake by telling him the truth. Is this the silence before the storm? 
 
I sat in my room waiting for a message or a call but there was nothing, I fell asleep waiting for a response from him. I woke up a few hours later upon hearing Fajr Azaan. The first thing I did was check if there were any calls or messages but there were none. 
 
I read my salaah and then went downstairs. I kept thinking things are over, all the preparations for the engagement were for nothing, our parents are so excited, how will they react. I couldn’t stop stressing, what was happening. 
 
Has this girl succeeded in her efforts to separate us? Is Ahmed ever going to forgive me? What are our parents going to do? How will my family take this news? I tried calling Ahmed again but still no answer. Now I was panicking, why was he not answering? He spoke to his family so why not me? 
 
My mum came down to make breakfast, I helped her and soon my dad and brothers came down. They all left for work, it was just me and my mum. We had breakfast and then my mum said we had an appointment with the caterers and we had to choose fabrics and dishes.  
 
I couldn’t tell my mum that there might not be an engagement, I had to go with her. We went to the caterers first, I choose my colour scheme, I chose colours that didn’t match, my mum was not happy at all then she decided on purple, silver and white, then tables and chairs I just told them anything, cutlery and dishes I left to my mum.
 
We then went to the printers. I had to choose a design and tell them what I wanted to be on the card. I was so confused and worried about Ahmed, I couldn’t concentrate, I told them to choose any card and write what they wanted, the uncle just looked at me like I was mad. 
 
My mum told them she would call them and then we left. We had other things to do but my mum noticed something was bothering me so she drove straight home. I didn’t even realize that we were home. I asked my mum why she came home when we still had so much to do. 
 
“Your mind is not with you, so we will do everything when your mind is with you” she said. I felt bad but I really was not in control of this situation and I couldn’t tell anyone anything. 
 
Kausar sent me a message to say she told Ahmed to contact me because my calls and messages were not going through, she asked if he had called because he called them in the morning to say that he was taking a flight back and he would be in South Africa by Thursday morning. 
 
I had to meet him, I decided that I would fetch him from the airport. I told Kausar and asked her not to tell him. Ahmed arranged with his assistant to have a driver fetch him from the airport, I made her cancel that and told her not to tell Ahmed. 
 
I have to make things right. Since I knew Ahmed was coming back and I would see him soon I called the printers and told them which design I wanted and also emailed them what I wanted on the card. I called the caterers and I told them what tables and chairs I wanted. 
 
I took my mum for lunch and then we went to do whatever shopping we needed to do. I made sure I sorted out everything before I left. I had to leave tomorrow so I could be in Jo’burg to fetch Ahmed from the airport. 
 
I went to see Zinat and told her to please help my mum with all the preparations and I also told her what happen between Ahmed and I and that I needed to sort it out. I asked her to tell my parents she needs to go Jo’burg for something and I asked Sameer if I could take Zinat with me. 
 
Zinat and Sameer agreed, Zinat said she would say she needs to see a doctor in Jo’burg. I can’t tell my parents I messed up. I have to tell this lie, although I hate lies, I have to sort out this before telling anyone in both my family and Ahmeds family anything. 
 
I got home and told my mum that Zinat had a doctors appointment on Thursday and I had to leave on Wednesday. My mum asked why can’t Sameer take her, I told her that he had work and his boss didn’t want to give him off. 
 
For the first time I have lied to my parents, I felt bad telling these lies but I had to in order to save my relationship with Ahmed and I had to do it without anyone knowing. I couldn’t allow a third person between us or to take advantage of the situation. 
 

 

PART FIFTY FOUR

PART FIFTY FOUR 
 
I can’t wait for the weekend, just one more day and the weekend will be here. I have many reasons to look forward to the weekend but the most important is the outcome of the photos, Imraan said they would be ready by Saturday morning.
 
I phoned my mum and told her I will be coming home for a week. I know she is already planning all the things we can do in that week. My mum would probably want to get things for the engagement. Next weekend Kausar and Sumaya are coming to Jo’burg to do shopping for the engagement. 
 
This morning I got a call from Imraan saying the results for the photo’s are out and he wants to see me. It was just after Fajr that he called and being a Saturday and I don’t have work so I planned on sleeping till atleast 9am but I was too anxious to know what the results were. 
 
I got up,took a shower, got ready and had breakfast. Imraan came over and as usual was testing my patience, he kept talking about other things instead of telling me what happened. Then he tells me ” you can be at ease those photos were photo shopped.” 
 
I was relieved but I was feeling guilty that I actually, even if it was for just once but I sent those photos for checking and that means I doubted Ahmed. I was annoyed at myself and angry at his ex. She has no other work then to make my life miserable. 
 
Zinat was on her way to Jo’burg, I was so excited, the last we met was when Ahmed and his family came over to meet my family. That was a month ago, we had so much to catch up on. I know first she will tell me all about the town people. 
 
While waiting for Zinat and Sameer I decided to do some baking. We planned to go out for lunch so I didn’t have to cook. I baked all Zinats favourites and some of Sameers. When they arrived we left for lunch, we went to a place Imraan suggested called Khashif’s. The food was delicious and the service was very good. 
 
After lunch we went to Sandton for shopping. If Zinat could help it she would of spent her whole day in Sandton but Sameer hates shopping so we didn’t stay long, she got just what she needed. When we got home Zinat made tea and we sat and caught up on all our stories. 
 
Imraan and Sameer sat in the lounge playing games. Zinat and Sameer actually only planned to spent lunch with me and then they were suppose to go visit all their family in Jo’burg but they decided to stay by me. I told them to stay over by me. 
 
They actually came to attend a wedding, one of Sameers friends was getting married. His friend organised accommodation for all those from out of town but apparently they double booked some rooms and so some people had to last minute find other accommodation.
 
Farzeen and Rizwana were excited that Zinat and Sameer were around. Farzeen liked Zinat a lot after they met when we went home for the weekend. After Asr Sameer and Zinat got ready for the wedding. Zinat was panicking because she knew no one at the wedding. 
 
She is so friendly she will make friends with someone there, she stresses for nothing. Once they left, Imraan, Farzeen, Rizwana and I went out for supper, we first went to fetch Sakina. Imraan took us to one of his friends restaurants. 
 
After supper we went to the Zone, then we went back into fordsburg to meet some of Imraans friends. Imraan said he would catch a lift with one of his friends we could go home. We dropped Sakina off at her house and then went home.  
 
When I got home, Zinat and Sameer were already there. I didn’t expect them to be back so early. Zinat said that the wedding was so boring, they went from the boys side and the people not even the boys parents noticed that any of his friends came or gave them any attention. 
 
They were seated in one corner behind a walk where they couldn’t even see the stage and they were told no photos for his friends. What was that, then why invite people over if you going to treat them bad. 
 
The groom saw his friends trying to come on stage to greet them but he didn’t say anything. I found it very strange, Sameer didn’t even say anything, he was so upset, they came all the way to be treated like they didn’t even exist.
 
Sameers phone kept ringing all his friends were calling, they wanted to meet. I told him they could meet at my house this way they could discuss what they wanted and didn’t have to worry about disturbances or anyone seeing them. 
 
We all went to bed, I couldn’t sleep, I kept tossing and turning, I felt very restless. I messaged Ahmed to see if he was awake but he didn’t reply. I didn’t tell him that I had sent the photos in for checking so I was worried how he would react when he found out.
 
The next morning Zinat and I made breakfast and then prepared for lunch, all Sameers friends that attended the wedding were coming over for lunch. Imraan helped me organise tables and chairs for lunch. 
 
It’s the first time I will be entertaining so many guests at one time and I was glad my mum filled my house with everything I needed. I always complained that I was only living in Jo’burg for work so why world I need all this extra dishes and table clothes and cutlery. 
 
Sameers friends all came few minutes before Zohr, they went to the jamaat khana in the complex for Zohr. Afterwards we had lunch and then I left and went to Aunty rubina’s. I didn’t want to be in the way and they might not want to discuss their personal matters with someone they don’t know.
 
While they were busy in the meeting I made tea at Aunty Rubina’s house, after tea they all left. I am going home tomorrow so Zinat and Sameer decided to stay one more night and we all could leave together in the morning.
 
I packed my bags and packed all the things I bought for my engagement. I am ready to take a break and spend some time with my family, I am excited to see all the things my mum has done and has planned. 

PART FIFTY THREE

PART FIFTY THREE
 
Imraan said I should wait till the weekend he would sort everything out by then. it’s only three days until the weekend I have to pull myself together and be strong and confident that things will be sorted by then. 
 
I didn’t feel like going to work but I had to. I had deadlines to meet and meetings to go to so there was no way I could skip work. I was at work but my mind was on the photos and the letter. I couldn’t ignore the photos even if this girl was not telling the truth. 
 
Imraan said he would get the photos checked but I don’t know how. He said he knew someone that could help. After work I went to see Sakina, Imraan said she was not well so I decided to pay her a visit and besides I haven’t seen her in a while. 
 
Sakina was telling me about this new place she had been to, it’s a get together for the muslin community that happens every Thursday. They play games and have Islamic lectures, Quraan classes, it’s separate male and female facilities. it’s something that was started to keep people off the streets and help people make friends. 
 
I would really like to go for one Thursday at least to see if it’s something I would like. I do need to do something other then my routine work, gym, home. So I made plans with Sakina to go next Thursday. I was excited about meeting new muslimahs and making new friends. 
 
For a while my mind was distracted so I didn’t think about my problems. I’m glad I went to visit Sakina. When I got home I told Imraan about this new place Sakina was talking about and he wanted to join in as well. I didn’t want to tell Farzeen and Rizwana to join us. 
 
It’s on a weekday and they still have school work to do. Maybe once they free like holidays and when they finish school. After supper I spoke to Ahmed for a little bit, I didn’t mention anything about his ex or anything related to that matter. I didn’t want to cause a drift between us without knowing anything. 
 
He did ask if I was okay after all the drama yesterday, he said that he was worried that I wouldn’t believe him and that I would end things between us. I did ask him what he wanted and he was silent for a few seconds then he said that he feels that I am doubting him. 
 
I changed the topic after that and tried to ignore him everytime he went back to that topic. Ahmed told his parents about the engagement and asked his sisters Kausar and Sumaya to come to Jo’burg and sort out the shopping. 
 
I offered to take them around as Farzeen took me to a lot of places and I knew where all the shops were. Ahmed also asked me to pick out an engagement ring for myself so that I get what I want and I’m happy with the ring. 
 
I was hoping he would do that but he is not around. I put the phone down and then I thought is there really going to be an engagement? I couldn’t wait any longer to know what the truth was. I was anxious and it made me scared. 
 
I decided I will still do all the preparations needed and hope for the best. I’m not doubting Ahmed, our bond is too strong to doubt him but with the interference of someone else things can go wrong and could end. 
 
I was stressing a lot so I called Zinat, she would definitely know what I can do. Zinat said the same thing Imraan said, Ahmeds ex is just looking to make trouble and Ahmed wouldn’t do something like this to me. Everyone was very confident in Ahmed. 
 
Zinat was coming to Jo’burg for the weekend and said she would visit me even if it is for a few minutes. I’m thinking of taking a week off from work and going home atleast I will keep busy and my mind will be at ease. 
 
After maghrib I read my salaah, had supper and went to Safiah’s house, she asked me to come over she had something important she wanted to speak to me about. She was very nervous when she saw me. 
 
Safiah said she had a secret she needed to get off her chest. I was sure it was the reason why she rejected that Cape Town guy, she must be want to tell me about a guy she is seeing.
 
She said she wanted to introduce me to someone, I asked her who was it and when does she want to go and meet this person. She then said he was in the house in the room. I was shocked, what is she up to. 
 
Then this guy comes out from the room, he greets me and she introduces us. He is the same guy she went to see with her parents in Cape Town. So what was he doing in Jo’burg and why were they meeting if she rejected him. 
 
Safiah said after I spoke to her she realized that it didn’t really matter what background he was from, it was more important who he is and that he has a strong imaan, morals and values. He respected his elders and was a loving and caring person.
 
So she contacted him, apologized for her mistake and they started speaking, he had to come to Jo’burg for a conference and so he decided to come and see Safiah. She has not told her parents as yet but I feel she should. 
 
They were the ones who took her to go meet this guy and they would be happy for her, she doesn’t have any worries because her parents already know him and accepted him. She was the one who needed to accept him and now that she has she should not hide from her parents. 
 
You never get anything by lying to your parents and hiding from them. I hope she tells her parents. So this guy’s name is Reeza, his family lived in Pretoria and he spent most of his life there, his mother’s family is Malay so that’s why he looks Malay, he is in Cape Town for a few years only.
 
They moved after his father passed away to be closer to his mother’s family. He has a good job and earns enough to live comfortably. He told Safiah that she didn’t have to even work after they get married, he would take care of her.
 
I was glad that they were together and I told them to inform their parents, it was only right for them to know and it would save them from committing sins and they would be able to get engaged and then married.  
 
I went home afterwards and I realized how lucky I was that my parents agreed and so did Ahmeds parents, I was lucky to find someone like Ahmed and most of all lucky that I was brought up in a environment where my parents were strict so before doing anything wrong I am reminded of how my parents would react. That is why we told our parents before we could go further in our relationship. 

PART FIFTY TWO

PART FIFTY TWO
 
This morning I received a call from my dad, he wanted to discuss the same thing that Ahmed discussed with him. Ahmed wants us to officially get engaged when he comes back from Australia. We hadn’t really gotten engaged, our families just met and agreed to us getting married. 
 
My dad said Ahmed was concerned about something which he shared with my dad but asked him not to tell me as I would worry about it. I think I know what it’s about but I’m not sure if I’m right.  
 
My dad said he will set the date for the weekend after Ahmed returns so we don’t have to wait long after he returns. My dad didn’t tell anyone in the family about it as yet, he first wanted to speak to me. I was happy that we were finally going to make things official but at the same time I was worried about the reason he gave my dad. 
 
What is so threatening that he decided to speak to my dad about us getting engaged and didn’t speak to me about it first. I didn’t know whether to ask him or not. I didn’t want to upset him but would I be able to deal with this on my own.
 
Ahmed messaged me while I was on lunch, he wanted to Skype, I didn’t want to because I didn’t know how to face him without showing him the worry I have. I told him to give me a few minutes I was not in my office. 
 
I tried to calm myself before speaking to him. Ahmed was so excited to speak to me and see me and so was I. It was only two days but we missed each other so much. I actually was in tears just hearing his voice. 
 
I did mention that my dad spoke to me about the engagement and he decided that the date will be set for the weekend after Ahmed returns. He was even more excited. I didn’t tell him that my dad told me why he discussed getting engaged all of a sudden. 
 
I didn’t ask him, I didn’t want to spoil it for him. He just told me that he wanted people to know and that we are going out and being seen together and he didn’t want people to talk bad about me so that’s why he asked my dad to set a date for the engagement.
 
I didn’t want to worry Ahmed for no reason especially since he was so far. I was not going to be the reason for his trip being spoilt. He was happy and I didn’t want to take away that also from him. I didn’t speak much and told him I had to get back to work. 
 
After work I went to the gym, I needed to do something that would distract my mind even if it’s for a little while. I met Imraan at the gym, we sat and spoke for an hour, totally lost in time. I told him about the engagement and why Ahmed decided all of a sudden to have one. 
 
Imraan is someone I can pour my heart out to and I know I will get sound advice and I don’t have to worry about anyone knowing what we spoke about. I needed to get things off my chest and I felt relieved when I did.
 
After gym I went home, jumped into the shower and got straight into bed, I didn’t feel like having supper. I heard a knock on the door, it was Farzeen, Imraan sent her over to see if I was okay. She forced me to go over to their place and have coffee. I wasn’t in the mood but she wouldn’t take a no. 
 
I put on an Abaya and went over. When I got back home I sat in bed and completed all my work that I brought home. I’m not going to work tomorrow so I planned a day of shopping, I needed to get a few things for myself and for the house. 
 
In the morning I got ready and left the house by 10am, I took Farzeen with me because I am still not familiar with the roads and shops. I went to Ameera’s in Fordsburg for Abayas. They have some lovely ones and not badly priced as well.
 
Farzeen took me to all the right shops, I got some nice things and I didn’t spend much. We had lunch at ocean basket and after lunch we went to Hanover bakery and got some tasty goodies.
 
We had to fetch Rizwana from school, Farzeen was free today she was not writing any papers and said she studied the weekend, Aunty Rubina didn’t mind her coming with me because she knew farzeen had studied and we were not going to be the whole day.
 
When I got home Aunty Rubina said there was a parcel delivered for me. I went home and opened the parcel, there were photos of Ahmed and some girl, she sent a letter with as well. In the letter she said that they are still seeing each other and that he has lied to me. He is not in Australia but he is with her. 
 
She mentions places they have been to together, times they have spent together, she also mentions that they have met each others families and are planning in getting married in a months time. She says she knows he asked my dad to have our engagement then also. 
 
She says he has no intention of being with me but he is only using me. I am so confused and shocked, I don’t know whether to believe my eyes or do I believe the man I love. Is she out to make trouble? Why should I believe her? who should I ask? What should I do? 
 
All these questions are going through my mind, I don’t know what to do. I want to meet this girl and see for myself who she is and what she wants. Why is she bent on ruining my life. What wrong have I done to her. 
 
I message Ahmed to tell him about the parcel I received, I took snapshots of the photos and letter and sent it to him. He immediately video called me. He said it’s all not true, he is being framed and this is what he was afraid of, that’s why he wanted us to get engaged and make things official. 
 
He knew his ex would do something like this. After my conversation with Ahmed I was still not satisfied. My heart wants to accept that he is honest but my mind is playing games with me. I kept picturing them together. 
 
How did this girl know where Ahmed was and that he spoke to my dad about us getting engaged. Who else did he tell, as far as I know only my parents and I know. He told me he didn’t tell his parents as yet. What if this girl is speaking the truth. 
 
I called Imraan and asked him to meet me after work. I think he can help me. I was shattered and in this state I won’t be rational, having someone by my side to guide me will help, someone I trust. I wait impatiently for Imraan to come home.
 
My mind wasn’t at ease no matter how hard I tried to keep myself busy, I was worried, confused and upset. I have never been so restless before. Imraan came home and I told him everything and showed him the letter and photos. 
 
He said he would sort it out. I didn’t know how he would do so but he assured me not to worry he would get to the bottom of this. Imraan was confident that this girl was out to make trouble and that Ahmed wouldn’t do anything like this to me. 
 

PART FIFTY ONE

PART FIFTY ONE
I woke up early this morning, my parents were coming to visit for the day. I asked Ahmeds cleaners to come help me since I was still feeling drowsy from all the medication. Aunty Rubina cooked lunch for us and Raeesa offered to make desserts. 
 
Ahmed thought it was a good idea to introduce Raeesa to my parents. They were coming and it would help if they got to know her on a casual meeting. I was a bit stressed, I didn’t know how my parents would react. My mum is more my worry then my dad but Ahmed said he would take care if everything. 
 
My parents arrived very early, my mum rushed in like she hasn’t seen me in ages. She was in her panic mode, it took a few minutes to settle her down. I messaged Ahmed to tell him my parents were here. Yaseen went to fetch Raeesa and my mum kept asking where he went so early in the morning. 
 
I didn’t know what to tell her so I needed Ahmed to come over as soon as possible. I’m on my nerves and my mum keeps asking all these questions, I try to avoid answering her and change the topic. I was hoping that Ahmed would come before Yaseen and Raeesa.
 
I saw Yaseen and Raeesa pull up at the front gates, I started to panic, I messaged Yaseen to wait until Ahmed comes. My mum would interrogate Raeesa and Yaseen and they wouldn’t be able to handle her and nor would I. Ahmed being around I know my mum won’t say much.
 
I send my mum to see Aunty Rubina so she doesn’t ask me too many questions. Ahmed, Yaseen and Raeesa finally come and I introduce Raeesa to my dad and explain everything to him while my mum was by Aunty Rubina so my dad can help us. 
 
I went to Aunty Rubina to call my mum, as we walked into the house my mum sees Raeesa, “Have you made a new friend Saajidah who is this pretty lady?” My mum asks. I went cold and didn’t know what to say. 
 
Ahmed stepped in and introduced Raeesa to my mum and told her who she was. My mum was not happy about the way my brother handled things but didn’t say much about Raeesa. I was relieved but at the back of my mind I still have that thought what if my mum was quiet then and the storm is still to come. 
My dad asked Raeesa a few questions about her family and my mum just asked her what she does, I’ve never seen my mum so quiet before. Anyways we had lunch and desserts and it was already time for my parents to leave. Ahmed wanted to discuss something with my dad so they went to my room before my parents could leave.
I wish they could stay longer but my dad had to open shop the next day and since Yaseen left back with my parents since his one week leave was up and he had to return to work. Ahmed and I went to leave Raeesa at home. We met her mother and Aunty. 
 
When we got back to my apartment I asked Ahmeds what discussion he had with my dad. He didn’t want to tell me, I was annoyed at him for not telling me but I tried not to show him. We went out for supper then Ahmed dropped me off at home and we said our goodbyes because Ahmed was leaving early the next morning for Australia, he had some business to see to. 
 
He was going for a month, I don’t know what I’m going to do for a month without him. I’ve gotten so use to having him around. I watched some tv and then went to bed. The next morning I sent Ahmed a message wishing him a safe journey. 
 
I got ready for work, my first day back after the accident. I had so much of pending work that I had to take some work home. I had to finish all my work before my boss comes. He was coming to Jo’burg on Friday. 
 
My mind was on Ahmed. I hope he is okay in that long flight. He can’t sit still and for so many hours, he also can’t sleep if there’s noise. He has to have complete silence to sleep, otherwise he wakes up after every sound. 
 
Safiah called to check how I was doing, we haven’t met in so many days and she went to Cape Town for the long weekend with her parents. She wanted to meet up so she invited me for supper.
I needed to get out so I accepted her invite. 
 
When I got home I made a quick dessert from one of the ready made mixes my mum brought for me. I changed my clothes and went over to Safiah’s house. Safiah made chicken tikka, butter chicken and roti. The food was delicious, I really enjoyed the company as well. 
 
Safiah told me about her holiday in Cape Town. Her parents actually suggested Cape Town because they wanted to introduce her to someone. They want her to get settled but she doesn’t want to marry a Malay. She says she has nothing against them but she prefers to marry a surti boy. 
 
Personally I think it shouldn’t matter but she feels if she marries a surti she won’t have a problem adjusting with him and his family and their ways because she is also surti. Her parents don’t mind her marrying from any caste.
 
She was so lucky her parents didn’t mind, it’s so difficult these days, a lot of parents are forcing their children to marry in their caste. At the end of the day it’s her choice. I thought maybe she had someone that’s why she was making excuses but she told me there isn’t anyone. 
 
Anyways I went home after supper and relaxed in front of the tv. It felt strange being alone after so many days. I have to get use to this now that Ahmed is also away. There was still a few hours before Ahmed would land in Australia. I was so restless, I couldn’t sleep. I knew he would only land at 2am but still I was worried.
 
I fell asleep while watching tv, Ahmed called me at 4am to let me know he reached and he was okay. He was tired so he was going to sleep for a few hours and then go to his first meeting. I was glad to hear his voice. He said he would call me all the time but I told him not to as it’s too costly. 
 
I told him to rather bbm or whatsapp me and only call when it’s urgent. He said he wanted to Skype, he wanted to see me even if it was just once. I asked him to message me when he wanted to Skype. 
 
I was just relieved that he reached safely and he was okay. It’s so difficult in another country when you don’t have family and have to be there for long. Although he will be working most of the time but still the worry for family back home never stops. 

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PART FIFTY

PART FIFTY
After supper Raeesa and I cleared up and Ahmed and I did the dishes while Raeesa and Yaseen sat in the kitchen watching us. Raeesa was so shocked to see Ahmed helping in the kitchen and even more so when I told her he helped out with the food as well. 
 
Then she in a subtle way hinted to my brother that she would expect the same. My brother hasn’t done any house work in his life. My mother never allowed my father or brothers to do house work. 
 
She was brought up like that. In their house no men did any house work, the women took care of the house and children and the men took care of the business and expenses. 
 
It’s not a thing about men and women, it’s just how things have been. The wife takes care of the house and the men takes care of the business. My sister got married into the same kind of family, she lives with her inlaws and handles her kids and the house.
Raeesa was very stunned to hear that families still live like this especially rich families as she put it. She had this idea that a rich man’s wife only shops and goes to parties and goes out for coffee/breakfast and lunch with friend.
 
She was surprised that my mum and my sisters inlaws did their own work although there are domestic workers but they just there to take care of things the women of the house can’t but looking after the kids and cooking is the wife’s job. I was surprised at her thinking. 
 
After supper we sat in the lounge and spoke about Yaseen and Raeesa and what they plan to do after marriage. I made coffee for us all and asked Raeesa to join me in the kitchen. I wanted to speak to her in private. 
 
I needed to get more on this girl. I felt she is a nice girl but she sometimes says things that makes you feel she needs to learn a lot about this world and how it works. You know you get people like that who don’t really know much about the outside world. 
 
Raeesa seemed like one of those types. I was a bit afraid because I didn’t want her to feel bad when she met the rest of my family especially my mother’s side. 
 
My cousins and aunties are a bit nasty sometimes when they see someone who is not as educated as themselves. 
I know my mother, she is simple but worries a lot about what her family thinks.
This morning I made some blueberry cupcakes with a cream cheese topping and mini swiss rolls before I went to work. On my way to work I witnessed a horrific accident. I was in such shock I actually went cold. I pulled off to the side and sat in the car shocked. 
 
Lucky there were other cars on the road and I was not alone. Everyone got out of their cars and checked on each other and the car and truck that was involved in the accident. I called Yaseen and Ahmed to come fetch me, there was no way I could go to work after what I saw and the way I was feeling. 
 
I’ve never seen my life flash before me. I was so scared I thought the car involved was going to knock into me. Lucky there was no one behind me or in the next lane so I could swerve away and slow down. 
Ahmed and Yaseen didn’t want to hear anything and took me to the doctor although I said I’m fine. The doctor just gave me some tablets to calm me down. I slept for a while but I kept having flashbacks and woke up everytime.
 
Aunty Rubina and Uncle Abdullah came over as soon as they heard, Aunty Rubina also sent lunch for us. I was doing okay by late afternoon but Yaseen and Ahmed didn’t want to hear anything. 
Raeesa also came over to see me. 
 
I remembered that I was suppose to go for the talk to Sakina’s house, so I called her to apologize. Yaseen went out for supper with Raeesa, they made plans the night before, Yaseen wanted to cancel but Ahmed told him not to. 
 
Ahmed stayed with me, we ordered pizza and watched a movie. I fell asleep while watching the movie and Ahmed didn’t even wake me. He just covered me with a blanket. He waited for Yaseen to come back. 
 
It was getting late so Ahmed woke me up and sent me to the room to sleep. He sat in the lounge waiting for Yaseen. I was still having the flashbacks and waking up every 30 minutes so Ahmed didn’t want to leave. 
 
Yaseen got home pass eleven and Ahmed was asleep in the lounge so Yaseen left Ahmed to sleep and locked up the house and went to his room. I took some sleeping pills so I slept a good few hours before I had another flashback. 
 
When I woke up it was 4am, I went to the kitchen to get water and saw Ahmed sleeping in the lounge. I woke him up and made him go sleep with Yaseen. 
I asked him how come he slept over, he told me he waited for Yaseen to come back. 
 
In the morning I woke up and Ahmed asked his assistant to get his clothes from his house. He decided he was going to take me to the doctor again because of the flashbacks. I tried telling him it’s okay, I’m sure it’s because it’s still fresh in my mind with time it will go away but he insisted. 
 
After breakfast we got ready and went to see the doctor, he just put me on some meds to relax my mind and to sleep and told me to give it a week, If it didn’t come right he wanted me to see a therapist. I don’t really want to see a therapist. I hate telling strangers about myself and how I feel.
 
Ahmed is so stubborn he doesn’t want to hear anything. He says he doesn’t care what I think because when it comes to my health I’m very careless so he has to make sure he takes care of me. I tried arguing with him that I survived all these years without him to take care of me but it didn’t work. 
 
As soon as we got home he made his assistant look for the best therapists in Jo’burg, I left him because there was no changing his mind. We spent the rest of the day at home because we both were tired and sleepy from the night before’s sleepless night. 
 
He played a few playstation games while I went to take a nap. Yaseen ordered lunch for us on his way home from shopping with Raeesa. After lunch my mum called to find out how I was doing, Yaseen told her what happened and she decided that she was coming to stay with me for a few days. 
I already had Ahmed to deal with I didn’t want another person ordering me around, I know they care but I felt I was going to be strangled, I spoke to my dad and asked him to convince her, my mum agreed but said they were coming for a day.