PART THIRTEEN

PART THIRTEEN

We all waited in the lounge anxiously after supper to hear what my brother-in-law had to say, we will be spending a week extra here I got a leave extension and the second news is I found a nice guy for Saaj, I invited them for supper on Tuesday, said Shuaib.

So who are these people, my mum asked. They family friends of ours, I told them about Saaj and they want to come see her, he replied.

I didn’t know I was looking for a guy, I was furious but didn’t say anything. I needed to sort this out before it went too far. 

I tried speaking to my mum but all she said was ” you won’t know if his right or wrong until you meet him”

Next morning I went outside to fetch the newspaper I see  Shuaib sitting on the patio. I’m sorry I should of asked, he said. 

I didn’t want to cause problems for my sister also and spoil her holiday so I just kept quiet and accepted that this guy is coming in a few days time to see me. 

My dad was sitting at the breakfast table, he had his thinking face on, I knew that expression too well. 

So what you thinking of dad? I asked. Are you okay with this guy coming? I mean it’s not like we were prepared for this, he said. 

I didn’t know what to say because I was not prepared for this. I’m just going with the flow. 

I’m not sure myself, mum says there’s nothing wrong in having them come over for a meal, I said.

I didn’t know if I should tell Asad or not, will he get angry if I don’t, I’m in such a fix I don’t know what to do, It never ends, does it. 

I know Asad and I are just friends but I know he has feelings for me, I’m unsure of my feelings for him but I know there’s something there. 

I like spending time with him and speaking to him, he knows how to make me smile and he makes me happy. 

It’s all too much to take in right know, it’s so overwhelming.

By Safiyyah Ameer

PART TWELVE

PART TWELVE

After fajr I couldn’t sleep I kept thinking about how Asad over- reacted. I decided to get some coffee, my mum was in the kitchen already making a pot of coffee. I needed to talk to someone and get it all off my chest.

I had a talk with my mum,I told her about the gifts, lunch and conversations with Asad, I also told her how he over-reacted when I didn’t reply to his messages. 

You have to decide firstly what you want out of all this, do you want just friendship or do you want it to go further then that. Then you should speak to Asad and tell him how you feel and your decision. Accepting his gifts doesn’t mean you accept more then friendship. The key to any relationship whether it be between friends, siblings, partners is communication, she said. 

I messaged Asad to meet me for breakfast, I needed to make things clear with him.
We met at Dulce cafe, he was surprised that I called him over for breakfast he didn’t know why I wanted to see him.

Getting me out so early on a saturday, he said. I had to it is important, I replied. 

Asad: okay so what’s so important.

Me: It’s about you and I, I think you over-react when I don’t reply to your messages, you expect me to be available when ever you want to talk. You have to know that I also have things to do. 

Asad: I know that, I’m sorry yesterday I over did it. I shouldn’t of shouted at you. 

Me: Well here’s the thing I’ve been thinking about us for a few days now, our friendship and if I want it to just remain a friendship but after yesterday I don’t know if we going to work out. 

Asad: Saaj please don’t do this I promise it won’t happen again, yesterday was not me, I took out someone elses anger on you. I’m really sorry. I don’t want this friendship to end, I know you haven’t decided to take this further yet but I have hope and I don’t want to end this now. 

Me: I don’t want a control freak in my life, I’m an independent person I’ve never had anyone tell me how to do things so I need you to understand that we can only take this further if you willing to let me still have that. 

We both agreed that we want this friendship to last and we would respect each other in this friendship. 

I know I want more then friendship but I don’t want to be a emotional fool and just fall in love and think things are going to remain the same. I know I will have to get married one day and everything will change but I’m not ready for that now.

I get home and my sister starts her interrogation, where were u? Why u out so early? Does mum and dad know u went out. She is worst then the FBI, I had a breakfast meeting and mum knows about it, I said. 

She was only so hyper because she needed me to take her to the mall and because she gets hyper for anything and everything. The mall was so busy and we didn’t get some of the things so we drove to China Mall for the rest of the stuff . 

We got home around 4pm just before Shuaib could come, she didn’t want to be out when he arrived. We unpacked the car, got the kids into pj’s before Shuaib came. We chilled out until supper time. 

I have news for everyone after supper, Shuaib said. I hate when someone leaves me in suspense. Gosh what does he want to say? 

By Safiyyah Ameer

PART ELEVEN

PART ELEVEN

 
It’s school holidays and mum wants me to do some shopping before my sister comes with her kids for holidays. My sister comes home every december for a week. So I cancelled coffee at my house with Asad and decided to go to the mall instead. 
 
Asad insisted on going with me but I refused, I told him that so many people will see us together and will talk. He was not to happy but couldn’t argue with me, anyways I went to the mall and got all the things  mum wanted. 
 
My sister arrived the day after, I have three days with them before my leave ends so I wanted to make the best of it, I took the kids out to a day resort, we had so much of fun, the kids really enjoyed themselves. 
 
When we got home I  checked my phone Asad had left so many messages, he must be so angry, I thought. I messaged him to tell him that I was not home all day and forgot my phone. 
 
I see you don’t care about me, you could of at least told me that you were not going to be free, he replied. I didn’t know what to reply, I didn’t want to make him more furious so I decided not to reply.
 
My phone rang it was Asad, so now you can’t reply to my messages when you got your phone with you, he said angrily. 
I know you angry  and didn’t want you to get more angry so that’s why I didn’t reply, I said.
 
We spoke for a few more minutes until my sister called, I told him I would call him back. So who were you on the phone with, she asked. I wanted to tell her but I knew she would give me a lecture on how wrong it is to meet a guy in public and talk to a guy so I left it and just said a friend.
 
After supper the kids insisted we watch a movie so we all snuggled up in the tv room and watched Happy feet one and two well the kids got through half of part two. It was 11pm when the movie ended, everyone was sleepy and went straight to bed. 
 
I got into bed and remembered I had to call Asad but it was so late I thought he would be asleep so I sent him a message. 
 
I don’t understand why he is getting so upset at me not replying, it’s not like I sit with my phone and wait for his messages, I have a life as well and the most important if it all was that we are just friends, it’s not like he rules me. I need to have a chat with him about this.
 
I can’t allow him to make me feel like I’m on a timer and run according to his schedule, I’m an independent woman and I never had anyone tell me how to do things and how to live my life. This is really upsetting me, he just expects me to be available when he wants to chat besides he knew I was busy this week with my sister around.  

PART TEN

PART TEN 

 
The letter left me in tears, my heart felt warm and fuzzy and butterflies in my stomach. I’ve never felt like this before.
 
I manage to sneak all the gifts into the house when my phone rings, making everyone in the lounge alert, I didn’t know whether to answer the call or run from embarrassment. 
 
I quickly walked to my room with a huge grin on my face. It was Asad.
 
Asad: Assalaamu Alaikum, how are you?
 
Me: Waalaikum salaam, I’m good and you? 
 
Asad : Did you get my parcel?
 
Me: Jee I did, thank you. The letter was lovely. 
 
We spoke for about an hour about anything and everything. He wanted so much to ask if I have changed my mind but he held it in. I’m glad he did, it would of  just felt awkward, I’m not sure myself what I want. 
 
Asad messages me five minutes after asking me to lunch the next day, at first I wasn’t sure if I wanted to accept or not, but then I thought it’s just lunch. 
 
The next morning I had a ton of things I needed to do, my Dad wanted me to sort out a few bills and pick up a parcel from the post office. 
 
It was a lovely sunny day, I thought of rather going to the lake for a picnic instead of a restaurant but then I thought a picnic is a bit too personal and romantic. I didn’t want him to get the wrong ideas.
 
I had some time before lunch so I went to visit Aunty Farida, their house is so dull. I guess I’m use to having Zinat screaming all the time when I go there. Uncle Rashid had the newspaper in his hand pretending to read it, I saw right through his act.
 
I left to meet Asad for lunch, I never told anyone,didn’t want to get caught, I felt like I was sneaking around. 
 
When I got to the restaurant I meet Asad in the parking lot, “right on time” he says, I just smiled, we were seated and ordered lunch. 
 
While we waited for our food to arrive we spoke a bit about his family. His parents live in overport, his father owns a business and his mother is a housewife, he has a elder sister Farzana, she is married in Nelspruit and has two lovely boys Anas and Owais. Farzanas Husband is Naeem and he is a Doctor. 
Lunch was not bad I had a great time, after lunch Asad wanted me to go to his and Muneers Flat but I refused, I didn’t think it was right but I invited him over to my house, I felt that it would be much better since my parents were around so it would be a casual visit and not too awkward.

PART NINE

PART NINE

 
I was overwhelmed with emotions and didn’t know how to comfort myself. Asad followed me out, I hugged him and cried my heart out, I felt some comfort, after a few seconds I realized what had just happened, I stepped back and he asked,
 
Asad: Are you okay?
 
Me: Jee, I’m okay just a bit emotional. I’m sorry.
 
I stood there for a few minutes trying to control my tears before I headed back to the house. Everyone was already getting ready for bed. I went upstairs and got into my pj’s and sat on my bed reflecting on all the good times I spent with Zinat.
 
Around 8am I hear a car pull up into the drive way, I take a peak from the window and see Asad packing bags into the car. I rushed downstairs and bump into Muneer.
 
Me: Are you and Asad leaving? 
 
Muneer: Jee we are.
 
Me: So soon, everyone is only leaving this afternoon and you both came with us by bus, I thought you would go back with us.
 
Muneer: Actually Asad wanted to leave early, he said he didn’t want to wait for the goodbyes. 
 
Just then I felt like I was being betrayed, cheated on and empty. I ran out to see Asad, I wanted to know why, why was he leaving so soon without informing me. I wanted answers. I stood there for a few seconds trying to master the courage to say what I felt.
Me: So this is it then? You just going to go without telling me? No goodbyes. Is this how it’s going to end?
 
Asad: There was no start for it to end. What is the relation between us that I owe you answers? You the one who said you wanted nothing to do with me. 
 
My heart skipped a beat, it’s as if I was sinking in the sand. I didn’t know how to react. I wanted to hide and cry. I walked into the house and ran back to my room, I was lost, lost of words and emotions, I felt numbed. 
 
Asad knocks on the door, he comes in and takes a seat on the bed. He sits there clearing his throat several times.
 
Me: Do you want to say something?
 
Asad: I don’t know what to say to you, you know how I feel and you made it clear what you want.
 
Me: What was that the other day with Tasneem?
 
Asad: Is this what it’s all about? I love only one person and that’s you. Tasneem and I were reading a joke her boyfriend sent her. I laughed a little with her that’s all. 
There were a few seconds of silence between us, he stood up to leave, I immediately said:
I don’t really understand it all, I know there must be some feelings for you because I feel vulnerable when you not around and even more so when I got to know you leaving.
 
Asad: I know how you feel, I want you to realize it but on your own, I don’t want you to feel you were pushed into expressing your feelings, I have to leave now but we can meet up when you get back home.
 
I wanted to say more but before I could he left although I felt a bit of relieve, I need to figure all this out and rationally think about this. 
 
We all got ready and went downstairs for brunch thereafter everyone got their belongings together and ready to leave. 
 
I couldn’t wait to get home maybe this situation will make more sense when I get home. 
 
The bus arrived at 1pm, I was relieved that this wedding was over I could get home and relax for a couple days before I got back to work. The bus ride home was quiet, I slept most of the way. 
 
We finally arrived home, we ordered out supper as we were all too tired to do anything. After supper I received a message from Asad, he was just checking if we got home safely. He said he left something for me in the mailbox. 
 
I was curious to know what it was, with excitement I rushed to the mailbox, there was a box wrapped in a pretty blue and pink wrap, on the box was a small card which read Check by the rose, something there for you”
 
I went to the rose bush to find a beautiful Bouquet and a box of chocolates. I opened the box and found a cute little red and white Teddy bear and an envelope. The letter read,
 
My Dearest
 
I know we started of as strangers and went to being friends,I don’t know when I fell in love with you, All I know is I love you and I want to be with you only, I know you don’t accept me now but I pray you do soon.
 
We have spent a few days together and every time I saw you my heart skipped a beat and I had a silly smile on my face which just wouldn’t disappear.
 
I tried to make you happy but instead made you angry which lead us to drift apart, one mistaken hug has filled that gap to an extent but it’s only you who can bring closure to this beautiful relation.
 
Thank you for walking by my path, Thank you for accepting my friendship, Thank you for being you.
 
Thank you for a lovely week and thank you for all that you did. 
 
I love you.
Asad.

PART EIGHT

PART EIGHT

 
Zinats brother Jameel and a few of her male cousins welcomed the guests as they walked into the hall, they were served refreshments and took their seats. Mostly the women came to the hall as the men went to the small hall where the nikkah was to take place. 
 
Zinats father walked her in and met Sameer halfway where her dad placed her hand in Sameers hand, they walked together to the stage and took their seats, they both looked so lovely and made a beautiful couple.
Jameel said a few kind words and welcomed  the guests,he also thanked everyone for their immense support and love, thereafter Sameers sister Zainab recited a poem and also thanked everyone in their family and welcomed Zinat to her new family, Moulana read Salami and rendered a beautiful dua. 
 
Supper was served, Starters were chicken tikka cubes and soji, Main meal was Saucy portuguese chicken, pasta, veggies, butter chicken, pepper steaks, there was a tea table set with fruits, lovely biscuits and cakes and a assortment of desserts. 
 
There was a long line going up to the stage, everyone wanted to greet the newly weds and take out photos. Time was flying by and we wanted to get done by latest after Esha, we didn’t want to delay the grooms family, they also had a few things they wanted to do before the bride and groom left to the lodge were they would spend the night before heading for their honeymoon.
 
Zinat was taken to the house before Esha Azaan and the men went off to make Salaah while the women made Salaah in the main house. After Esha the men all came to the main house to receive Zinat. 
 
Zinats Aunty sang a nice nazm while the family and friends said their farewells to Zinat, left us all in tears.
 
I hugged her and couldn’t let go, my mum had to take us apart, I felt as if someone was taking a piece of my heart out, I know she felt the same. We childhood friends and have never been separated before. 
 
Zinat left to go to the farm the grooms family was staying at, which after they would leave to the lodge. Everyone got busy in cleaning up and we all met at the main house afterwards, the atmosphere was so gloomy, we could feel something missing.
 
Yes our chatterbox was missing,although it was a joyous occasion, we are all happy for her and wish them both a happy and blissful marriage, the sadness of not having her all to ourselves was just overwhelming.
I couldn’t handle it and ran out.
 

PART SEVEN

PART SEVEN

 
I didn’t really understand Zinat, it was as if she blamed me and didn’t care. The next day we all prepared for the mendhi night, Zinat already put mendhi the night before, so the function was just a formality, being a friday with Jummah everything felt so rushed. We set out small gifts for each person to take home and made parcels for the boys side, a few family members from the boys side came for the mendhi. 
 
My attention was not fully on the function, I was so confused about something but I didn’t know what. I felt empty inside and very lonely. You know that feeling when you in a room full of people yet you feel lonely. I just couldn’t get over Zinats reaction last night. 
 
The function went well and everyone was happy, the boys side were very happy with the gifts and the treats they all got to take home. Sameers sisters were really surprised at the warm welcome they received and were pleased with everything. 
 
After they all left Zinats father wanted all the family and friends to meet at the lapa, he thanked everyone for their enormously big warm hearts and thanked them for making all the functions a success, he thanked me for all the help of organizing all the functions and food and making their stay pleasant. He left us all in tears with his warm words.
 
Everyone rushed to bed as we all knew we had a big day ahead, I tried my best but just couldn’t sleep, I kept tossing and turning and it made me miserable. I kept thinking about Asad and what a hypocrite he is. It’s like I wanted to scream and tell everyone what a cheat he is.
 
I had to get over it because there were more important things to worry about. The wedding was the next day and I had to pull myself together and concentrate, I took out my Quraan and read a little to keep my mind off Asad and to relax myself. It really helped me and I felt so focused. I managed to get a few hours sleep, everyone woke up for fajr and started to prepare for the wedding.
 
Some of the ladies started on breakfast while the rest of us got busy setting the hall. It was such a pleasure, we didn’t have to drive up and down from the house to the hall, everything was so simple. The men set up the tables and made arrangements for namaaz facilities for the men and women.  
 
The caterers, the decorators and florist arrived all on time as arranged and started to work immediately, by 4pm we were all done. Everyone got ready, it was like a mad house everyone running around for things, luckily I moved Zinat out of the main house and gave her a chalet so she didn’t have to panick and worry about anyone and could get done on peace. 
 
Everyone got done and met at the main house for refreshments, last minute discussions and a little humor to relieve the stress levels a bit. Zinat dressed and came to the main house. She looked stunning in her  lengha and was sure to make everyone spin with her beauty.